Do these phrases sound familiar?
- When God closes a door, he opens a window.
- God never gives us more than we can handle.
- We will be praying for you.
- God has a plan.
What ministered to me most was when someone listened. They didn’t try to fix our problems, they
didn’t suggest we do different things to get out of our struggles. They asked how things were going, they really
wanted to hear & as I explained, they listened. Once I was done, they asked if they could
pray for me.
If you have a friend who is going through a really difficult
time, please be sensitive and don’t try to fix their problems. If God leads you to help in some physical
way, that is great. But many times, the
Lord uses us in the lives of others in non-tangible ways. Here are some ways that you can encourage
& support a friend experiencing difficult times.
Pray. If you tell
that person that you are going to pray, then DO IT! Don’t just say you will. I almost always know when people are praying
for us. They ask often how we are
doing. They remember our prayer requests
because they are lifting them up on a regular basis. Sometimes I’ll get a card in the mail or an
email or text letting me know that I am on their mind. Recently during an
extremely difficult time, I received on a daily basis numerous text messages
from a select group of friends reminding me they were praying for me. It brought me more comfort than they will
ever know. Just to know that others are
concerned and are diligently praying for us, lifting us up eased my fears and
concerns.
Listen. If every time your friend pours her heart out
& you suggest ways for her to get out of her circumstance or things he can
do, they will eventually quit coming to you.
When I need advice, I know who to go to.
But if I just need a friend to listen, I know who to call because I know
she will listen. They knew they didn’t have
the answer. They knew what God was
taking us through was for a reason. They
knew that in order for God’s plan to be accomplished we had to go through it,
and couldn’t go around it. It is ok, to not know what to say to someone going
through a difficult time, that is when the simple phrase, “I am so sorry”
works.
Be Quiet. No sharing confidential information. Do not tell anyone else about
anything your friend has told you unless she says you can. If someone has told you something & you
fear for her life, that is different. But
otherwise, do not even mention it even if you don’t mention your friends’
name. If you want your friend to trust
you, keep it quiet, between you & the Lord.
Ask if you can share it with your husband & explain that you &
your husband will pray for her. But if
she says not to share with your husband, please respect her enough not to tell
your husband.
If you have experienced difficulties then you can bring
comfort to a friend in a way that is special. If you have not yet experienced
great difficulties, just wait because they are coming and the friend you are
watching go through a hard time may be the very one who becomes the shoulder
you lean on. Be sensitive to her needs now.
Give her space to experience what God has placed in her path. Pray diligently for her and be available if
she needs you. Let God use you to bring
comfort and support.
He does have a plan
and maybe you are part of it.
Maybe you
aren’t.
Just stay out of the way and let
Him work.
Walk with your friend. Be there...that speaks more to her than anything you could ever speak.
