Grasping the Goodness of God

 In 1999 I was in a very serious car accident. I had all six children with me and I was 10 weeks pregnant when I lost control of my suburban and rolled it, landing upside down in a wheat field. It was the most traumatic thing that I had ever endured and it wrecked me emotionally and spiritually.

I was consumed with depression, anxiety and flashbacks of the accident. I hardly left my house and I didn't drive for months. 

One evening I was at church for a gathering and a staff person asked how I was doing. I'm sure I said the typical, "I'm doing really good!" because then they responded with "God is so good!" That statement bothered me. Friends kept saying it when they heard what happened.  I remember thinking, "No way is he good! If he was, he wouldn't have let this happen to me!" 

Do we really understand what the goodness of God is? I know that in 1999, I didn't understand it. My thinking of God and his goodness was all wrong. 

Elisabeth Elliot said, "We can't really tell how crooked our thinking is until we line it up with the straight edge of scripture."

So, let's see what scripture says about goodness.

Exodus 33:19

And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.

Psalm 23:6

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 68:10

..your flock found a dwelling in it; in your goodness, O God, you provided for the needy.

Zechariah 9:17

For how great is his goodness, and how great his beauty! Grain shall make the young men flourish, and new wine the young women.

Mark 10:18

And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.

Titus 3:4-5

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

This is not an exhaustive list of scriptures on goodness. I encourage you to go do your own word study on this. You will be so encouraged and blessed by it. 

When we feast upon the word of God we taste his goodness and are satisfied in Him!

According to these scriptures, Gods goodness is a gift wrapped in mercy (Exodus 33:19), that will follow us all our lives (Psalm 23:6), as we dwell in it (Psalm 68:10)and enjoy the greatness of it (Zechariah 9:17). We must recognize that only God is good but that it is in that goodness that we are saved by faith, according to his mercy.

God is the source of all goodness and is the measure of what good is! 

Romans 8:28 reminds that all God does in our life is for our good as his purpose for us is accomplished.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

This verse is often misquoted or taken out of context. But when you view this verse in light of what we just learned from the scriptures above it should be a little more clear. 

What is good according to this verse? This is where my thinking was all wrong because I associated this "good" with only blessings & favor, but there so much more to it. Mark 10:18 tells us that only God is good. The greek word used in this verse is the same as used in Romans 8:28. 

Could it be this "good" is meant to grow us in godliness? Could it be God is using "all things" to make us more like him? 

The answer is yes. 

I had to stop viewing the goodness of God only as what the world considers good and see it as it is...becoming more like him. Sometimes his goodness doesn't feel good, it's painful, miserable, unthinkable, unbelievable...but it is still his goodness and I'm learning to praise him for all of it.

That means our trials, adversity, excruciating circumstances are the goodness of God just as is the favor, prosperous, pleasant and happy times God brings to our lives.

This sheds a whole new light on my life as a godly woman and how I am to respond to circumstances in my life.  When I respond to trials as a  sharpening of my faith I find joy in the goodness of God.  His mercy is so great and I'm so thankful he doesn't leave me in my sin but by his goodness he has washed me clean so that I may worship him and give him all the glory!

I don't know if that staff member who told me how good God is realized how he upset me, but as I look back I'm thankful he said it. It showed me how wrong my thinking of God was. Over the next 18 months I fought and I struggled and then the goodness of God consumed me and I surrendered to him. I experienced his grace and mercy in ways I never had before. He broke me and then restored me and his joy is mine!

By His Spirit and through His goodness I can be a woman of mercy and wisdom, patient and forgiving who embraces her trials to grow in godliness.

Joy Happens, Especially on the Hard Days

I have a long to-do list for today. I'm so behind that I have resorted to posting sticky notes everywhere to help me manage the list.

But instead of attacking that list, I sit here, typing.




The week has been a difficult one and I need to write it out.
The challenges.
Tears.
All the emotions. All.the.emotions!
All the joy!

Friend, it's been quite a week. I remember a couple of weeks ago thanking the Lord for giving us a season of calm. Isn't he so good to give us a moment to catch our breath before he moves us towards the next lesson.

The Lord is working on one of my kids. I posted on Facebook this week that it's difficult to watch it happen. As a mom, you never want to see your kid struggle or hurt. But then again, you do want to see it. You do want to see your kid experience consequences of bad decisions. You do want to see your kid learn from stupid mistakes. But all the emotions involved are what is hard to manage.

This kid. He belongs to the Lord and this week I had to give him back over and over again. He disappointed me.  He scared me.  He made me mad. He made me cry! All in the same day.

But Joy! In the midst of my prayers for this kid, God reassures me, comforts me, reminds me that he does hold his boy very close to him, which is why all of this hard stuff was happening. God was not going to give up on this kid. That is JOY!

Knowing, God loves your kid more than you can.

Knowing He never gives up on us.

Knowing he will continue to wait until my kid comes back to him.

Knowing this gives me joy.

I wish the world could understand what real joy is! It has nothing to do with how I feel, because I have had all the feels this week. Joy is about what God is doing in my life and in my kids life and knowing it is out of his crazy love for us. And because of his joy, we can walk in confidence that His plan for our kids is so much better than ours and he is piecing together a story that could change lives!


"So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT)

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Motherhood...Hardest Hood ever

I've lost my joy.
I don't enjoy my children anymore.
I'm always cranky.
I feel lost.
I feel lonely.
I don't enjoy being a mom anymore.

Have you ever thought any of these things? I have. The early days of being a mom were so hard. I was basically still a newly wed, still learning how to manage a home and then I was a mom as well. Learning how to be a wife and be a mom and keep my house from becoming a complete disaster was too overwhelming at times.  I had days when I wanted to get in my car and drive away! For realz! I just couldn't handle this mom gig anymore! And if one more kid cried because I gave them the wrong dippy cup I was just gonna lose it!  You get what I'm saying.

So, I guess this post is to all the moms our there deep in the trenches of mothering.

Hang on!

Don't let go!

It's hard. Truly it is. Motherhood is the hardest hood you will ever live in!

God made you a mom because he knows you can not only raise kids, but raise them really well. It's hard to see the rainbow when you are still living in the storm, but it's there. Trust me. One day, your kids will arise and call you blessed! It's not a greeting card! It's a promise from God.

Here are a few ways you can do more than just survive.

1.  Cherish the days. They are short. I know this sounds like a hallmark card, but hang with me. I remember thinking, I can't wait until they are older. Now they are older. Some are married. Two of them have their own kids. And all I want is for my kids to be home with me! Now the days feel very long. But, God in his wisdom gave us Charlie. He is six years old. He is a constant reminder to me to slow down and cherish everyday I have with my kids.

2. Stop and have a tea party. Yes, I know the dishes are still dirty, the clothes need to be washed and I'm sure there are errands to run, but just stop, set aside the to-do list and spend that time with your kids. My older kids always heard, "I can't right now, I'm busy". Being an older mom, I've learned to stop and play a game of Monopoly with Charlie, watch Sam play Minecraft, take Gracie shopping for no special reason. It matters. They may not remember it, but I will. But I think they will. I'm always amazed at what my older kids remember that I don't.

3. Make God time priority. I remember how it was. If I opened my eyes at 6:30 am, my kids opened their eyes at 6:35. It didn't matter when I got up they were up too. Making time for prayer and Bible study is just as important as breathing. In fact, that time was my reminder to breathe. Even if all you get is 5 minutes...take it and pray.

4.  Date your husband. This ranks right up there with your God time! You need time with your husband. If you can't get a babysitter and don't have family to help out, have at home dates. Stay up late one night a week after kids go to bed, eat a special snack in bed, watch a favorite movie, whatever...it doesn't really matter. Just make time for each other.  One of these days your kids will grow up and leave (hopefully ;) )  What are you and your husband going to talk about when your kids are gone?

5.  Find a community. We were created for relationships and mothering can be one of the loneliest seasons of life! Join a MOPS group or participate in whatever your church offers for moms. If they don't offer anything then you start something. Invite moms over for dessert. Meet up at the local coffee shop. Join a Facebook group for Christian moms if there aren't any local options for you. Just find a community of moms and get plugged in. This can help in such a huge way. If none of that works, send me a friend request on Facebook! I love meeting and getting to know other moms!

Doing these will help, but you have to be intentional, or you will sink. Everyday is a new opportunity and a gift.

You will make it! I did...I know you will.

Finding Gratitude

I had thought I would do a video for this post. I'm really trying to stretch myself these days, and video's are an area that really intimidates me. I'm not sure why. I used to speak in front of hundreds of people at a time.  Anyway, I decided I would write this out because I was really afraid I wouldn't get through the video without blubbering & shedding every tear in my head.

This time of year is hard for me. There, I said it. I feel guilty for it being hard because I know that part of it is my own attitude towards our living situation right now. We still live with my husbands parents and sometimes I just don't understand why the Lord would continue to keep us here. Then there are days when I know why he has. But that doesn't make it easier. 

So, gratitude can sometimes be hard for me. 

Then today happened. 

Last night, me along with 6 other dear friends threw a Christmas party for our Young Living team members. It was so much fun to love on our team members and bless them. 

We asked each guest to bring a non-perishable food item to be donated to our local food pantry. They gave so generously and today the kids and I had the pleasure of delivering the items to the food pantry.  We pulled up to the little building and were surprised to find people already in line for food. 

The kids helped me to unload the car and as I stood there waiting to speak to the coordinator I looked at those in line. How humbling it must be to stand in line for food because you have no money to buy it. I thought to myself, "That could be us". 

You see, that was us at one time, except we never stood in line for food. We had no money for food. We tried to stretch our dollars as far as we could but it would never go far enough. I know what it is like to open my refrigerator and not see anything there to prepare for dinner. I know what it is like to go to bed at night and not know how we will eat the next day. It's a horrible way to wake up.

We had to rely on the government for a time to purchase our food. We were issued a card to use at the grocery store. It was humbling and humiliating. I felt as though all eyes were on me as I swiped that card to pay for our food. 

I can still remember the day when I left that card at home because we were finally able to buy food with our own money again. There was freedom and empowerment in that. 

While I'm thankful I never had to stand in line to get food for my family, I recognize that sometimes God uses ways to provide for us that we may not like. I was thankful we could have plenty of food, but I never liked how the Lord provided that food for us. I'm just being honest here. I thought I was being thankful. I thought because I would say with my mouth, "Lord, thank you for providing us food" that I had a heart of gratitude. But, really...I didn't. 

Gratitude is one of those attributes that leads to other attributes. When we practice gratitude we experience joy, freedom and happiness. 

We are told to be thankful! We aren't asked. I find that very important in scripture. I never find the Lord saying, "Can you be thankful?"  "Can you have gratitude?" 

No. He says, "Be thankful". It is His will! 

I think that is because he wants so much for us, he created us to live an abundant life. He came so that we may live and live life more abundantly! Yet, our attitudes so often hinder us. We are unable to experience His joy because we can't find gratitude hidden in the life he has given us. 

I am a work in progress. I'm not going to tell you I'm all there because I'm not. Obviously, because the Lord keeps bringing this up I still have a lot of work to do. But that is the wonderful part about living this life for Him. He never gives up. He's always there, waiting for us to "get it". His love never ends and his mercies are new every morning! 

I challenge you to write down things in your life right now that you would like to change. I'm talking circumstances, things happening around you. Read them out loud. Now, rewrite them and turn them into a prayer of thanksgiving. Pray them daily for 30 days. Come back here and comment on this post and let me know how you are doing. 

Did you find your gratitude?

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The Danger of the "What-if" Thought

Before I knew it, my heart was racing, hands were sweating and I was unable to move. All because I had a thought.
A "what if.." thought.
I wasn't facing an actual situation yet. I was thinking it into existence though and my whole body was reacting.

I was overcome with fear over something that had not even happened.

What is wrong with me? God, what are you doing?

"This isn't me." He whispered to my spirit. "I don't create fearful thoughts and worry."

And then he reminded me of what Paul said in 2 Timothy. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline."

Then I opened my bible and it fell open to Isaiah 43.

Do not fear, I have redeemed you.
You are precious and honored in my sight.
Do not be afraid, I am with you.

Dear Lord, the enemy wants so badly to see me walk in fear rather than joy. He knows I am less useful to you when fear rules in my mind. Thank you for giving me the power to take every thought captive and make them obedient to you. That is my heart desire!

Time to Stop, Rest and be Thankful.

It's Thanksgiving Eve.

Chocolate Meringue Pies are in the fridge along with the Orange Cranberry sauce. Pecan pies are on the buffet where more desserts will be added tomorrow.

Turkey is about to go into the roaster and my list of side dishes is posted on the fridge so that I don't forget any.

Thanksgiving Day is our family's favorite holiday. We love it because there are no expectations for gifts. Just come and eat with us and let's have a great day together as we remember how faithful the Lord has been this year to us.

So, you want the honest truth? This has been a really hard year! I am not going to dress this up. It's been really hard. And it is often difficult to remember the good things that happened.

It's been a hard year for my business.  It's been a hard year for my husband who worked 2 jobs most of the year. It's been a hard year for my Father in law as he battled cancer. It's been a hard year for my father as his health is not good and doctors can't seem to find any relief for him. It's been a hard year for my daughter who struggled with anxiety and depression. It's been a hard year for 2 of my sons with their jobs. It's just been a really hard year!

In History, Sam, Gracie and I have been studying Early American History. Last month we were reading about the Pilgrims who spent 3 months on the Mayflower in pursuit of a life of freedom from England.  Once they landed they were not ready for what was about to happen. On the ship, only one person died on the trip. That was remarkable. But when they began trying to make a new life for themselves, they realized just how difficult things would be.

I'm sure you know the story. Thanks to the help of Samoset & Squanto, the Pilgrims learned how to farm, and hunt. The Pilgrims were so thankful for the help of these Native Americans and for the new life they had made for themselves, they devoted a day away from work to spend time together giving thanks to God for his provision and protection. But wait... It was a hard year!  This is why they set aside one day to rest and be thankful!

What happens when we are thankful?

We are more hopeful of the future. I know my God is faithful. I know that the trials we experienced this year were not in vain. I know that whatever he allows next year may also be hard, but He will still be there just like he was this year.

We are energized and empowered. There is just something about choosing to say, "I'm thankful for this". It is choosing an attitude of joy. That gives us strength.

We are healthier.  Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and they report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences.  We also sleep better and are less stressed.

Of course the Pilgrims didn't have scientific studies showing them why they needed to stop for a day and rest. But, we know the benefits of it.

I'm so glad we have a day like Thanksgiving that forces us to stop and spend time with our family and friends. Time to focus on what the Lord has done for us and how we are blessed.

So, yes...this past year has been hard. But a quick scroll through my Facebook pictures reminded me of the many blessings we experienced as well.

Sarah came home from the Philippines early. That was an awesome blessing!

Sam went to Children's camp for the first time and loved every minute of it!

We kept Brody, my grandson, everyday for several months until his parents found another daycare for him. I love that!

My kids all have good jobs right now!

My husband is only having to work one job & even though it is extremely hard on his body, the Lord is using it to provide for us.

My Father in law found out this week that he is cancer free!

So yes, it has been a hard year, but God is good and we are thankful for the many ways he has blessed us.

Ok, so I'm off to get my Turkey in the roaster!

I pray you have a very Happy Thanksgiving with your family!!

Lessons from Charlie

Here is my view as I write.

Today is Charlie's 2nd birthday. Yes, I know...already!

He is very much a typical 2 year old boy. He loves to eat everything he isn't supposed to & not eat what he needs to. He is a boy of few words, but knows how to get his point across.  He is happier outside then inside (the reason for the sand table). He will take a bucket of cars over a book all day long.

Last year I blogged about the difference a year makes. The Lord has often felt very far away, but Charlie is our constant reminder that indeed he is also very close by.

I have said it many times before on here, but Charlie truly is the joy of our family. It isn't because he is the youngest.  God has used Charlie to teach our family many very important things.

1.  Dates are important to God.  15 years ago today is when the kids & I were in that horrible car accident that triggered a season of depression & panic attacks for me.  For many years we hated the date, May 7 because it always reminded us of what had happened. We do not believe it is coincidence that 13 years later the Lord blessed us with Charlie on that same day.  Now, May 7th is a day of celebration for us.

Sarah and Charlie near the site of the accident.

See the bent t-post? They never fixed it. We found Sarah laying under the post. That post saved her life. The suburban rolled over that post, bending it. She has no memory of the year before or the year after the accident.

2.  Joy is possible in the midst of difficult days.  Even though we were thrilled when we found out we were expecting Charlie, we were in the midst of a very difficult time and I was really concerned about having this baby.  I knew God had a purpose, but trusting his purpose was a totally different issue. Here is my post about what was going on at the time: You Have Given Me Greater Joy!  Little did we know the impact Charlie would make on our family. The Lord used Charlie to bring our family together during a trial that could easily have torn us apart.  He brought joy to our lives.

3.  God truly knows!  Not that I ever really doubted this, but ok...yes I have.  When I realized we would have to move unfortunately one of my first thoughts were not, "God knows what he is doing." It was more like, "Really? You are letting this happen now?" And yes.  I was upset with God.  If it were left up to me, I would never have chosen to have a baby at that time. I am so thankful it isn't left up to me. I can't imagine the blessings we would have missed out on if we had decided 10 kids were enough & made sure to not have anymore.  Charlie is proof we do not know, but God does. His timing is perfect. He could easily have given us Charlie several years earlier,but he didn't. He could have never given us Charlie at all.  In the eyes of many that would have been best.

I'm so thankful God knows what I need exactly when I need it!

When I begin to doubt God's timing or plans, I look over at Charlie and am reminded that God knows, He gives joy & everyday is important to him.  Suddenly, my doubts fade and my joy is renewed.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12

My latest lesson?  Sitting outside with your laptop while your boys play in the sand will result in sand all over & possibly inside your laptop. Not sure that was a good idea.

The Battle of Motherhood

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 {The Message}

^3-6 The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

I'm in a battle.  It's a battle for my children. Not a day goes by I don't see evidence of Satan waging war against my family. The temptation is to fight the worlds' way. 
Worry.  
Fret. 
Become fearful. 
Interfere.

But 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 reminds me of the truth.  We don't fight our battles like the world does. 

When I see one of my kids on a path that I know cannot end in a good place, my temptation as a mom is to interfere, voice my opinions & just flat out get in the way of what God is trying to do in their life. It is hard to resist doing this. And to be completely honest, most often this is my first reponse.

But what is the Lord's way?

Psalm 37 has the perfect recipe for how to fight the battle of motherhood the Lord's way, & not the worlds way.
Psalm 37: 1

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong.

The best way to fight is by not worrying about the outcome.  Know that God is ultimately in control of this & he will win!

Psalm 37:3,4

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 Take it to the Lord.  This may sound "churchy", but it isn't.  It should be the habit of every Christian to take their worries & trials to the Lord before they do anything else.  Trust that the Lord cares more for your child than you can.  His love is deeper than yours, which I know is very hard to imagine.  But when I understand this & rest in it I am better able to trust the Lord with the life of my child.

Psalm 37:5,6

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Commit to do things the Lords way. Once we trust the Lord can fight for the life of our child better than we can, then we are able to commit our ways to him.  Every mother wants to stop their child from making stupid mistakes, but often they need to make those mistakes to feel the sting of the consequences.  Often I have prayed, "Lord, this is what I want to do, but I want my ways to be your ways so please help me to trust you completely." 

Psalm 37:7

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Be still & wait.Oh, I think this is the hardest part.  To be still.  To do what we feel like is nothing.  When we see our children hurting or in trouble our momma bear instincts come alive.  But the Lord often calls us to be still.  This can make no sense unless you understand who the battle is really against.  The enemy wants nothing more than for you to interfere with what is really going on.  The enemy wants your child to turn against you and the Lord. And he would like nothing more than you use you to make that happen.  But when we are still, and let the Lord fight for us and patiently wait for Him to bring our child back; we disable the enemy.

Psam 37:8

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;  do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Here is another reminder to not worry and don't get angry.  It is so easy to get angry at our children or at those who are causing them hurt. When we let our emotions lead our decisions that only leads to more wrong decisions. It only interferes more with what the Lord is trying to do.  We have to remember though the enemy fights ugly, our God never loses!

Psalm 37:34

Hope in the Lord  and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

Never lose hope!  Never stop praying for your children.  Never stop trusting the Lord will bring your child back to him.  It's so hard. I know that.  I have days when I am tempted to believe the lies of the enemy, that my child is gone for good.  But the Holy Spirit always comes back to remind me that he loves my child more than I ever could and is at work though I might not can see it.  
The enemy will be destroyed.  We are promised that many times in Scripture.  In fact, that moment Jesus returned on the 3rd day after dying on the cross marked the eternal defeat of Satan.

I encourage you to look to the Lord for the salvation of your child. Let him become your stronghold rather than the world.  The victory belongs to the Lord and to you!  You can do this! Run to the Lord the cling to his promises.

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The Wandering Child

The text message I received reminded me of what I had tried to forget.  My daughter was still living a life distant from the Lord.

My heart sank as I read the message.  My emotions began to kick in and take over.  I was angry, disappointed, embarrassed and so very sad. I wanted back the days when I could make her stay home and do what she was told, but those days are over.  She is an adult now.  Her choices are hers, which means so are the consequences. But that doesn't ease the pain.

I wanted to yell at her, "What are you doing?".  I wanted to hold her and tell her I still loved her even though her choices were hurting her family.  I wanted all of this to just go away.  I wanted my daughter back.

I had text my daughter, "I will never stop fighting for you". There was no response from her.
{Click to Tweet}

"Lord, what do I do?  There must be something I can do!" And in his quiet, yet powerful way he responds with, "You need to be still and let me fight for you. She belongs to me."

You would think that would give me peace & calm my anxious heart, but it didn't.  I still wanted to fight back. I still wanted to do something.  And God was telling me to be still.

I woke up this morning still sad over the events of the last several days. I was exhausted from the emotional stress of it all.  My prayers felt empty and worthless, but I keep praying.  "Lord, help me to be still. I want to trust you to end all of this in your time."  And this was his gift for me this morning.

What an amazing God we have to care so deeply for each of us.  A God who always leads us in triumph!  A God who always wins!

I'm not feeling very triumphal these days.  I'm feeling more like a failure as a mom because my daughter continues to make dangerous decisions.  But, I am reminded that when I begin to take the blame and shame of what she is doing, I am giving Satan a foothold in this.  He hates it when I rest in my confidence that God is in control.  He hates it when I don't let this bring me down and steal my joy.  He loves it when I am up all night worrying about her and wondering if she is ok.  He loves it when I am so distraught I can't function normally in my day.  I hate that I have given him several small victories lately.

How wonderful is it that in spite of what is going on, we can be confident that we will be triumphant because God is leading us there.

I don't know how long our daughter will wander away from the Lord.  I pray everyday that today is the day she returns.  The only way I can make it through this is knowing that in spite of the heartbreak and anguish I continue to experience, my God is leading me in victory and it will be through my own weaknesses that he will be glorified.  My prayer is that God is glorified through my whole family in all of this, even through my wandering daughter.

This could easily steal my joy!  But, I stand on his promise of victory & choose to live in today and not worry about tomorrow. 

Do you have a wandering child?  How do you pray for your child?  What Scripture has God given you as comfort and strength as you wait for your child to return?

God is faithful and his mercies are new everyday!  Rest in him & pray for your child like you have never prayed before!

The Mom Heart

I knew something wasn't right.  I couldn't explain it, I just knew he was in danger.  I told my husband to call our son.  It was normal for him to still not be home this late at night, but for some reason I felt that he needed to be home.  My heart said pray.

I can't explain why I text her when I did.  I just knew she was on my mind so I let her know I was praying for her.  Normally she would reply very quickly, but not this time.  I didn't think anything about it until later that afternoon. I text her again.  Still no answer.  My heart said pray.

I could write out time after time when I have felt this urgency to pray for my children.  I never can explain why I feel this sudden need to cover them in prayer.  I really became aware of this when our family separated for a while.{ You can read why here.}  I didn't have my teenagers with me everyday for the first time since they were born and my heart hurt.  My prayers for my kids changed because all of a sudden I didn't know what they were doing.  I didn't know who my daughter was babysitting for.  I didn't know my son missed his orthodontist appointment.  I didn't know my daughter had been throwing up all night.

I know really do what is speaking to me, telling me to pray.  It is the Holy Spirit.  He is real and powerful and will impress my mind and heart in ways I often don't understand.  I have come to be very thankful for this, even though it often brings pain to my MomHeart.

I've come realize God has given me this MomHeart as a way to be connected with my children in ways they don't even realize.  The older my kids get and the farther away they go, the bigger my MomHeart becomes. It enables me to look them in the face & know.  Just know things they don't want me to know.  To know if they are being truthfull. To know if they are hurting.  To just know things that often, I don't want to know.

Scripture speaks of the Holy Spirit all through out, even in the Old Testament because the 3 persons of God existed before time began.

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot recieve, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. John 14:16-17

God gave us the Holy Spirit as our advocate & counselor.  When my heart is hurting, the Holy Spirit brings peace and comfort.

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.  John 14:26

How many times have you remembered a scripture verse or something someone said to you that you had not thought of in years.  I love how the Holy Spirit does this!

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:13

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

So often as a mom, I don't know what to pray for my children, but I just know I have to pray.  It often comes out something like this...

"Lord, you know where  _(name)  is and what they are doing.  You know what they are saying and what they are thinking.  Protect them. Speak to them. Consume their mind with you and your promises. Thank you for _(name)_ and thank you for hearing my prayer."

Sometimes I find out why I needed to pray.  Most often I don't.  Sometimes my kids will ask, "Mom were you praying for me last night?" I love that.

If you suddenly feel an urgency to pray for your children (or for anyone) don't dismiss it.  Stop right then and pray. Cry out to the Lord on your childs behalf.  Listen to your MomHeart...a.k.a. the Holy Spirit.

The Faith to Wait

My pastor has been working his way through the life of Abraham for quite a while now. I am always amazed at how much wisdom and truth he can pull out of Scripture. This past Sunday was no different. Isaac was born!  Finally!  We have been waiting for 15 sermons for that baby to finally come.
The chunk of his sermon was on waiting for God to fulfill his promises, because we know he will…right?  Right???
The first verse of today’s passage caught my eye.  It was highlighted…not by a marker, but by the Holy Spirit.  I couldn’t stop reading it.

The LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did to Sarah as he has promised. Genesis 21:1
If you remember the story, when the Lord promised Abraham he would give him a son, Sarah didn’t believe it; in fact she laughed out loud. (Genesis 18:12)
This was an unconditional promise by God to Abraham and Sarah.  He didn’t say, “If you believe in me” or “If you obey me”.  He just said, “She will bear a child” PERIOD.  God didn’t need Sarah’s faith to keep that promise.  He didn’t need her permission or her obedience.  But, of course her faith and trust that he would indeed keep that promise was nothing more than a gift to her.
How many times do I miss out on God’s gifts to me because I doubt him?  Too many to count.
We are still waiting on God to provide adequate income so we can move to our own house.  He promises to provide for us and he IS.  We have a house, we have food, we have clothes. We even have enough money to pay the few bills we do have.  He is providing. But, yet there are still times I think God is not providing.  I wonder if he has forgotten about us.  I wonder if we will ever get to live in our own house.  Will I ever get to unpack all my books???
You know Sarah wondered if God would really do what he said he would do.  God promised her a baby 14 years before he gave her one!  14 years!!  And then…it happened!  We get nervous when God makes us wait a few months…she had to wait 14 years!
God is never late!  It will all happen in HIS time…not mine.  Whatever you are waiting for God to do that he promised he would do…it will happen in HIs time. 
I found this saying this week & loved it!!

I hope that while God keeps you waiting, you are trusting him and looking for his gifts in the midst of waiting.

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I am linked up with Cornerstone Confessions today.  Check out other encouraging posts today linked up.


 
I'm also linked up on Woman Living Well blog

 

This is my doing…

I enjoy reading a devotional that is older than I am.   I love and have used Streams in the Desert for many years.  No matter how many times I read through it, the Lord shows me something new. The writing on February 1st was especially good & I just had to share. 

You can get these devotionals as an email if you don’t have the actual book. Crosswalk.com offers many devo’s for you to subscribe to.  Click here to check that out.

This devotional touches on a subject that many would rather not discuss…the Father doesn’t just allow, but often causes our suffering.  There is purpose in it all, most times we will never know the purpose.  But it is His purpose and it is for His glory.

I encourage you to read the 11th & 12 chapter of 1 Kings to get the whole story or where this verse originated from.

This is my doing. (1 Kings 12:24)

The disappointments of life are simply the hidden appointments of love.
--C.A. Fox

My child, I have a message for you today. Let me whisper it in your ear so any storm clouds that may arise will shine with glory, and the rough places you may have to walk will be made smooth. It is only four words, but let them sink into your inner being, and use them as a pillow to rest your weary head. "This is my doing."

Have you ever realized that whatever concerns you concerns Me too? "For whoever touches you touches the apple of [my] eye" ( Zechariah 2:8 ). "You are precious and honored in my sight" ( Isaiah 43:4 ). Therefore it is My special delight to teach you.

 

I want you to learn when temptations attack you, and the enemy comes in "like a pent up flood" ( Isaiah 59:19 )., that"this is my doing" and that your weakness needs My strength, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, never ask your opinion, and always push you aside? "This is my doing." I am the God of circumstances. You did not come to this place by accident -- you are exactly where I meant for you to be.

Have you not asked Me to make you humble? Then see that I have placed you in the perfect school where this lesson is taught. Your circumstances and the people around you are only being used to accomplish My will.

Are you having problems with money, finding it hard to make ends meet? "This is my doing," for I am the One who keeps your finances, and I want you to learn to depend upon Me. My supply is limitless and I "will meet your needs" (Phil. 4:19). I want you to prove My promises so no one may say, "You did not trust in the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy. 1:32).

Are you experiencing a time of sorrow? "This is my doing." I am "a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering" (Isaiah 53:3). I have allowed your earthly comforters to fail you, so that by turning to Me you may receive "eternal encouragement and good hope" (2 Thessalonians. 2:16). Have you longed to do some great work for Me but instead have been set aside on a bed of sickness and pain? "This is my doing." You were so busy I could not get your attention, and I wanted to teach you some of My deepest truths. "They also serve who only stand and wait." In fact, some of My greatest workers are those physically unable to serve, but who have learned to wield the powerful weapon of prayer.

Today I place a cup of holy oil in your hands. Use it freely, My child. Anoint with it every new circumstance, every word that hurts you, every interruption that makes you impatient, and every weakness you have. The pain will leave as you learn to see Me in all things.
--Laura A. Barter Snow

"This is from Me," the Savior said,
As bending low He kissed my brow,
"For One who loves you thus has led.
Just rest in Me, be patient now,
Your Father knows you have need of this,
Though, why perhaps you cannot see--
Grieve not for things you've seemed to miss.
The thing I send is best for thee."
Then, looking through my tears, I plead,
"Dear Lord, forgive, I did not know,
It will not be hard since You do tread,
Each path before me here below."
And for my good this thing must be,
His grace sufficient for each test.
So still I'll sing, "Whatever be
God's way for me is always best."