Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Are You Over Committed?

I had a great day today.  God has richly blessed me by placing godly older women in my life of whom I can turn to for counsel and friendship.  Today I was able to chat with 3 of those women in separate conversations.  Three separate conversations that all fell on the same topic with out my prompting.

The topic? Lack of commitment because of overloaded schedules.

As I have mentioned before, I coordinate a ministry for moms in our church called Mom2Mom.  We have on our roster about 150 moms, but our average attendance is only 75.  I'm not complaining, I'm thrilled when anyone shows up!  But, when talking with 2 of my "older" friends today we discussed the reason for low numbers.

When talking over lunch with my other friend she brought up the issue of young moms today not following through on commitments.  In her ministry, she see's it as a problem for the next generation when a mother is so over committed to a lot of really great things that she sacrifices time with her family, with her husband and can't follow through with all of the great things she intends on doing.  Her children learn from her how to manage their lives. 

That got me thinking.

Does today's young mom see her busy schedule as badge of honor?  The busier you are that greater your title of "Mom" becomes.  Do we think our crazy schedules make us more acceptable and beautiful in the eyes of others?

I think we like hearing people say, "I don't know how you do it all!", especially when we think we are doing it all.

Be careful moms.  That is a dangerous road to travel.  Pride brings self destruction.

Peter warned about this to the women who would read his letter.
1 Peter 3:3,4

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 

 In the days when Peter wrote this, the braiding of hair & jewelry were a big deal. It had become a consuming factor in the lives of many Christian women.  No longer were they more concerned with their biblical roles as wives and or mothers, but only by they appearance.  Peter was not saying that they were not to be concerned with their external features at all, just don't let it become the only beautifying you do.
He wanted them to be more concerned with their inner beauty than their outward beauty.

So what does this have to do with over committed schedules?  I think we adorn ourselves with over committed schedules.  It makes us look really good to others when we have an insane schedule & yet appear to have everything under control when reality is much different.

We can fill our time with events that give us opportunity to bring glory to God and grow in our relationship with Him or we can fill our time with events that don't.  {I won't give my example of either.  I'm not in the mood to start an argument.}

Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days aright,  that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

If we are to be wives & mothers with a gentle and quiet spirit, we can't be running from one thing to another.  We have to learn to be still occasionally.  Actually, daily.  We need to create in our schedule a daily appointment with our Heavenly Father.  It is essential if we are to be the wives & mothers our husbands & children need.

We need to be active in saying "NO", not to our children when they need us, but to others who know if they ask you to do something it will get done.  Just because you have 1 hour available on Wednesday's doesn't mean you need to fill it up.  Leave it open & let God fill it up.

We need to constantly re-evaluate our schedules.  Are you over committed?  Are there things on the calendar that can be taken off, at least for a season?  Is there something that is taking you away from your family more than you should be away?

If you are not sure, ask your husband & your children.  They can give you a big hint.

Adorn yourselves with a gentle & quiet spirit instead of an over committed schedule.  Your family will be pleased.  Your husband will be pleased, but even more important than that, your Holy God will be pleased.  His opinion is what really counts at the end of the day anyway.

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