Ok, so the part that surprised me is when I sat down with the books & the Holy Spirit spoke loud & clear..."Not now!"
Wait! What did you say?
"This is not the time to do this study"
Really? I really wanted to do this. I need to do this.
I kept thumbing through the books...I did this for days. I didn't understand. This is a good study & it will help me a lot do what I feel I am called to do.
Why can't I do this?
Even though I was frustrated, I recognized what was going on & knew I needed to let my leader know that I would turn my books back in and could not participate in the study.
The next day I was reading in my current devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I have used this off & on for years & never grow tired of it.
This is what I read.
"Rehabilitation means the putting back of the whole human race into the relationship God designed it to be in, and this is what Jesus Christ did in Redemption. The Church ceases to be a spiritual society when it is on the look-out for the development of its own organization. We are not here to develop a spiritual life of our own, or to enjoy spiritual retirement; we are here so to realize Jesus Christ that the Body of Christ may be built up.
Am I building up the Bod of Christ, or am I looking for my own personal development only? The essential thing is my personal relationship to Jesus Christ-"That I may know Him." To fulfill God's design means entire abandonment to Him. Whenever I want things for myself, the relationship is distorted. "My goal is God Himself, not joy or peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God."
(My Utmost of my Highest, July 12th writing. )
This made me think about my motive's in doing this leadership training.
Why was I doing this?
Did I feel it necessary in order to have a more effective ministry?
Am I trying to further my own ministry on my own?
The training is good. It has been done in many countries, equipping women all over the globe to minister to other women. It is an excellent program, but if the Lord doesn't want me involved it doesn't matter how good it is, it won't be effective in my own ministry.
Sometimes we have the very best intentions, but they are wrong. Our very best intentions are meant to take us on one path, but instead they take us in the wrong direction. I'm very thankful that the Holy Spirit stopped me before I took off in the wrong direction.
One other thing, I never prayed and asked the Lord if I should do this study. I just jumped in. Why pray about it? It is a great study! Hmmm, there is a reason why scripture tells us to pray with out ceasing!
Is there anything you are trying to do with the very best intentions, but that still small voice is warning you not to? LISTEN TO IT!
"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things..." John 14:26