"How's life?" a friend asked me. I cringed inside at her question. She appeared to be doing this "mom thing" so much better than I was. I felt as though I was barely hanging on, yet there she stood all put together, her children all put together. Do I really tell her how life was or do I give her the glossy answer.
"It's great! How's life for you?" (glossy answer it is)
I was too embarrassed to let her know I was drowning in motherhood!
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise against me, yet I will be confident.
I love this verse. When my children were all young they were the army marching against me. At least that is what life felt like most days. I felt attacked. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't make anyone happy. I was so mean for making them do chores. I was abusing them by making them eat their vegetables and drink water instead of Kool-Aid like "their friends" did. And Heaven forbid if I made someone take a bath!
Are you there? You could probably add to my list.
How many times have you asked God, "What have I got myself into?" This motherhood thing is harder than I thought!
Ok so, I understand that when David wrote this Psalm he was actually in a life threatening situation, but the point I want to make is where he drew his confidence from. It's the same place for us. God is our confidence!
Whether you are facing an impossible situation or you are just trying to keep your kids alive, the mindset is the same. "I can do this because God is my strength!"
God is there. He is your strength, your life, your joy. With confidence we can face whatever it is God has us facing today and know that we will survive! In spite of what we may think at times, our children are not out to destroy us and neither is God.
Motherhood is hard, but that's ok. For the sake of sounding like your mother...doing hard things is how we grow. We know this, that doesn't mean we like it. One day I will be at a place in my relationship where I can welcome with open arms the trials God brings because I know they will draw me closer to Him. I'm not there yet. I still cringe and ask "Why?!" and then I say, "OK, I trust you." But I'm still kicking & screaming a little bit inside. God knows this and still loves me anyway.
Here are some additional scriptures I keep close as reminders that God is with me and is bigger than any trial, impossible situation or cranky kid.
Psalm 27:13 & 14
1 Corinthians 1:25
I have a bit of homework for you. Write at the top of the page, "God is bigger than..." Then write out your "army encamped against you". What is it, who is it that is making you feel as though there is no hope. Now at the bottom of that page write, "God is my strength, my hope and my joy! I can do all things through Him that gives me strength!" (Phil 4:13)
Put this up where you can see it. If something new pops up add it to the list. Remind yourself daily that God is bigger. He love you! He doesn't want you to just survive, he wants you to enjoy being a mother. He wants you to find joy in it and satisfaction.