Today, I am struggling with how God is providing for my family. It is not in a way that we would choose, but it His way right now. I fight against the pity party. I wrestle with thoughts of doubt. I want to say, “God, are you serious? Are you sure you know what you are doing?” I guess me writing it here is the same as saying it since he knows our thoughts before we think them. Trusting His ways that seem completely hidden from me is what faith is about. I do know that I am not the only one who felt this way.
Job said in Job 3:23;
Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?
Job didn’t know what we know. He didn’t know that God had allowed Satan to take everything away and yet he trusted God anyway.
Shall we accept the good from God and not trouble? Job 2:10When we are in the midst of adversity we don’t know what God knows. We can’t see the big picture. All we see is what is right in front of us and it usually doesn’t look very good.
Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. Job 14:5Job knew that his days were numbered by God, he cannot live longer than God had already determined him to live and he wouldn’t die before God had determined him to die. God is sovereign, in complete control. When His ways don’t make any sense to us, but they make complete sense to him and we must trust that.
I am learning to be o’k that I may never know why God is allowing our family to experience what we are experiencing right now. I am learning to trust His ways, instead of what I think he should be doing. It is a daily choice, sometimes an hourly choice to trust him.
My first step towards this is worship; turning my focus off of myself and onto my God by meditating on his promises, singing & praying his words back to him. Just saying “Thank you” even if you are not sure what you are thankful for can do amazing things to your spirit.
Use your imagination and picture Jesus standing before you and say to him, “Thank you”. Then start a list of what you are thankful for. Spiritual maturity comes when you can be thankful for the adversity because you know it is drawing you closer to God and your knowledge of him.
I think I will go take my own advice!