Friday, December 18, 2009

Struggling with God’s Ways

A few weeks ago I wrote a post on Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord, not Yourself.    Learning to trust the Lord completely with every detail of my life is been much harder than it sounds.  I memorized the verse a long time ago and it has brought great comfort to me, but when it gets down to the nitty gritty of my life, I still struggle with it.
Today, I am struggling with how God is providing for my family.  It is not in a way that we would choose, but it His way right now.  I fight against the pity party.  I wrestle with thoughts of doubt.  I want to say, “God, are you serious?  Are you sure you know what you are doing?”  I guess me writing it here is the same as saying it since he knows our thoughts before we think them.  Trusting His ways that seem completely hidden from me is what faith is about.  I do know that I am not the only one who felt this way.
Job said in Job 3:23;

Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?

Job didn’t know what we know.  He didn’t know that God had allowed Satan to take everything away and yet he trusted God anyway. 
Shall we accept the good from God and not trouble? Job 2:10
When we are in the midst of adversity we don’t know what God knows.  We can’t see the big picture. All we see is what is right in front of us and it usually doesn’t look very good.
Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. Job 14:5

Job knew that his days were numbered by God, he cannot live longer than God had already determined him to live and he wouldn’t die before God had determined him to die.  God is sovereign, in complete control.  When His ways don’t make any sense to us, but they make complete sense to him and we must trust that. 
I am learning to be o’k that I may never know why God is allowing our family to experience what we are experiencing right now.  I am learning to trust His ways, instead of what I think he should be doing.  It is a daily choice, sometimes an hourly choice to trust him.
My first step towards this is worship; turning my focus off of myself and onto my God by meditating on his promises, singing & praying his words back to him.  Just saying “Thank you” even if you are not sure what you are thankful for can do amazing things to your spirit.
Use your imagination and picture Jesus standing before you and say to him, “Thank you”.  Then start a list of what you are thankful for.  Spiritual maturity comes when you can be thankful for the adversity because you know it is drawing you closer to God and your knowledge of him.
I think I will go take my own advice!


theconfidentmom said...

I am a new reader to your blog and wanted to leave you a comment. I truly appreciate your words and your authentic vulnerability - it is something not often found today. I also learned that verse many years ago, but often time "conveniently" forget it - I also need to remember that I do need to TRUST in The Lord....all the time, not just when things are going my way. Thank you and I look forward to reading more from you! Blessings - Susan

Dana said...

Susan, Thanks so much for your sweet comment!

Alisa Johnston said...

Thanks for your transparency. You are not alone!
Merry Christmas!

Two Shades of Pink said...

Oh how timely it was for me to read this post. Thank you for your candor in a bit of a personal faith valley. I thought of these verses after reading and have not thought of them in years...hang on, gotta go get my sword...

"I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place." Psalms 31: 7-8
I once heard a speaker say this and it stuck after referencing the fett in a spacious place part. He said...Do not mistake the Lord's inactivity for absence. Oh how guilty I am of that when my valley seems especially low. Thank you for reminding me today of thankfulness in the face of the unknown. I will forget NOT all of His benefits. You bless me dear friend!

Dana said...

Thanks for your sweet comment.

I agree, how often do we misunderstand God's silence for inactivity. God is never inactive! He is always at work in our lives, it is we who take our eyes off of him, never he off of us.

LauraLee Shaw said...

Love your broken and contrite spirit depending on the ultimate and only true Provider. He will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. So thankful you are looking to and crying out to Him. I love you, my sister, and I look forward to hearing all the praises stemming from your trust in Him.