Motherhood...Hardest Hood ever

I've lost my joy.
I don't enjoy my children anymore.
I'm always cranky.
I feel lost.
I feel lonely.
I don't enjoy being a mom anymore.

Have you ever thought any of these things? I have. The early days of being a mom were so hard. I was basically still a newly wed, still learning how to manage a home and then I was a mom as well. Learning how to be a wife and be a mom and keep my house from becoming a complete disaster was too overwhelming at times.  I had days when I wanted to get in my car and drive away! For realz! I just couldn't handle this mom gig anymore! And if one more kid cried because I gave them the wrong dippy cup I was just gonna lose it!  You get what I'm saying.

So, I guess this post is to all the moms our there deep in the trenches of mothering.

Hang on!

Don't let go!

It's hard. Truly it is. Motherhood is the hardest hood you will ever live in!

God made you a mom because he knows you can not only raise kids, but raise them really well. It's hard to see the rainbow when you are still living in the storm, but it's there. Trust me. One day, your kids will arise and call you blessed! It's not a greeting card! It's a promise from God.

Here are a few ways you can do more than just survive.

1.  Cherish the days. They are short. I know this sounds like a hallmark card, but hang with me. I remember thinking, I can't wait until they are older. Now they are older. Some are married. Two of them have their own kids. And all I want is for my kids to be home with me! Now the days feel very long. But, God in his wisdom gave us Charlie. He is six years old. He is a constant reminder to me to slow down and cherish everyday I have with my kids.

2. Stop and have a tea party. Yes, I know the dishes are still dirty, the clothes need to be washed and I'm sure there are errands to run, but just stop, set aside the to-do list and spend that time with your kids. My older kids always heard, "I can't right now, I'm busy". Being an older mom, I've learned to stop and play a game of Monopoly with Charlie, watch Sam play Minecraft, take Gracie shopping for no special reason. It matters. They may not remember it, but I will. But I think they will. I'm always amazed at what my older kids remember that I don't.

3. Make God time priority. I remember how it was. If I opened my eyes at 6:30 am, my kids opened their eyes at 6:35. It didn't matter when I got up they were up too. Making time for prayer and Bible study is just as important as breathing. In fact, that time was my reminder to breathe. Even if all you get is 5 minutes...take it and pray.

4.  Date your husband. This ranks right up there with your God time! You need time with your husband. If you can't get a babysitter and don't have family to help out, have at home dates. Stay up late one night a week after kids go to bed, eat a special snack in bed, watch a favorite movie, whatever...it doesn't really matter. Just make time for each other.  One of these days your kids will grow up and leave (hopefully ;) )  What are you and your husband going to talk about when your kids are gone?

5.  Find a community. We were created for relationships and mothering can be one of the loneliest seasons of life! Join a MOPS group or participate in whatever your church offers for moms. If they don't offer anything then you start something. Invite moms over for dessert. Meet up at the local coffee shop. Join a Facebook group for Christian moms if there aren't any local options for you. Just find a community of moms and get plugged in. This can help in such a huge way. If none of that works, send me a friend request on Facebook! I love meeting and getting to know other moms!

Doing these will help, but you have to be intentional, or you will sink. Everyday is a new opportunity and a gift.

You will make it! I did...I know you will.

Sunday Solitude

Lord,
My heart desire is that my way would be your way, but I know that is not always the case. Stop me. Cause my heart to grieve if my ways are not your ways. Give me clarity of mind to see your direction. You want to delight in my ways so I pray that I will be faithful to your calling, faithful to your ways, faithful to you.
Amen

Scripture Pictures

Just wanted to share a few verses that the Lord has used in my life recently.

Feel free to use any of these.  Just right click & save image to your computer.

Excellent Correction

Psalm 12:18 says, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Discipline is a God ordained opportunity for parents to train up their children in a way pleasing to God.  But because we are sinners, our discipline of our children doesn't always please the Lord.  I have days when I wait until I am so frustrated with my children that I fire off like a rocket at them and call that discipline.  It isn't.  It's just me spewing off at my kids.

One of my boys has quite the temper.  We call him our hot little Irishman because he can fire off so fast. Last night 2 of our boys were having a really hard time getting along.  I sent them to bed with instructions to not talk to each other, look at each other or get close to one another, but to wait for me to come to their room.  About 5 minutes later I opened the door to their room and found the little irishman standing over the younger brother holding a plastic baseball bat to his nose.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  WHAT DID I TELL YOU TO DO?

The Little Irishman immediately began his excuses for not being in his bed.  I didn't really care what the reason was, I just wanted him to go to bed.  I had heard their bickering all day and was done with it.  I gave them clear instructions to not move out of their beds unless there was a fire!
About 20 minutes later I went upstairs to check on them & found the Little Irishman sitting up in his bed, while the younger brother was sound asleep in his bed.  I sat down & asked what he was thinking about.  We talked for a bit.  I listened to him tell me how he thinks he is the only one that ever gets in trouble. (funny how all of my kids think they are the only ones who get in trouble)  We talked for a little bit about the importance of obediance and walking away from trouble.  He likes to be the last one standing, not the first one to walk away.  After we talked for a bit, I prayed for him.  When I was done he thanked me for praying for him and said that he really wanted to do better and learn to walk away from trouble.
I accomplished more with him in those short minutes than I had all week harping on him to stop fighting with his brothers.  My quiet heart, ministered to his hurting heart and repaired a stressed relationship.  As Christian parents the correction of our children is meant to bring about their excellent qualities, not diminish them.  Our correction can pierce their heart like a sword, or it can bring healing.  It is up to us if we will let the Holy Spirit create in us a gentle heart so we can correct more effectivley or if we continue to correct in our own strength.  I don't know about you, but  the Holy Spirit has a much better way!

Guarding my words

Set a guard over my mouth O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 114:3

Several years ago, my children memorized this verse.  It created a great picture in our minds of the importance of guarding our words towards each other.  They drew pictures to illustrate this verse by drawing a picture of themselves with a door for a mouth.  Some drew a big lock on the front of the door.

A guards' job is to only let in or out what is deemed appropriate, and that is what David is asking the Lord to do for him in this verse.  Help him to speak only words that are pleasing to God, not to the ungodly.

I stood there with my mouth wide open, not believing I was looking at what I was really looking at.  My son Josh had just cut a giant gash in the back of our leather sectional sofa!  He was about 7 yrs old at the time.  For a moment, I was speechless, but when that was over the words that came out were not good.

How could you do this?
What were you thinking?
What is wrong with you?

I just couldn't believe he had really cut this huge hole in the back of our sofa.  When I finally stopped ranting & yelling, Josh told why he had done that.  We had a new kitten.  The kitten had crawled up into the sofa & was in the back of it.  Josh thought it was stuck and would die if he didn't hurry up and get it out.  So out of his passion & love for this tiny little kitten, he did the only thing he could think of, he cut the sofa open to rescue the kitten.  Even though I didn't agree with his tactics, I understood why he did it.  But the damage had already been done.  Not the damage to the sofa, but the damage I caused on Josh's tender little spirit.  My words cut deep into his heart, like his knife cut deep into the leather on my sofa.  But unlike the sofa, his heart couldn't be sown back together.

I have learned that guarding my words is crucial if I am to build up and nurture the heart of my children.  Something as simple as taking a breath or counting to 10 before I speak can make a huge difference.

Today, my prayer for myself is Psalm 141:3 as I try to focus on the excellent things my children do.  I must guard my words so that only those that are truly good, edifying and right come out.  Even in my correction of my children, my words must be full of grace and mercy.  I am so thankful the Holy Spirit is available to help me do this or my efforts would all be in vain.

If you are participating in the 30 Days of Excellent in Every Way, leave me a comment with your blog address, or find my on Facebook!

30 Days of Excellent in Every Way

As a mom, I know that I focus too much on all the wrong things my kids do and miss out on all the right things they do. I get frustrated with chores not done or with their disobediance. When I only see their sin, I miss out on the blessing that my children really are.

Genesis 1:31 says, "Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way." (NLT)

I love how that is worded, "excellent in every way".... Our children are excellent in every way, in spite of how they act at times. They were made in Gods' image and he said his creation is excellent.

Do you think your kids are excellent? I know that there are many times that I don't see them as excellent.  They are stinky, disobediant, loud, stinky...did I mention stinky? :)  Anyway, I know my kids are great!  I know they are obediant & respectful, but many times I just miss it.

Years ago, the Lord impressed on me the importance of letting my kids know that I think they are excellent. I began making a special effort in showing my kids either by my words or my actions that I think they are wonderful!

So, I want to invite you to participate with me in 30 Days of Excellent in Every Way in September.

This is what you do, if you want to join me. For the month of September:

1. In your daily prayer time ask God to show you ways in which your kids are excellent. If you are like me, you may have a child that is more difficult than others. This is the child that you need really need to focus on. Pray for that child & ask God to show you how that child is excellent.

2. Keep a journal if you like of what the Lord shows you about your kids. If you have a blog, blog about it & send me your link!

3. At least once a day, post an status on facebook(if you are on facebook) about how one of your children was excellent. Don't use their name if you don't want to, especially if they are on face book.

4. Invite your friends. Ask your mom friends to join us.  Grab my button if you want to.

5. Use excellent words with your children. Tell them when you catch them doing something wonderful. Compliment them. Build them up with your positive, encouraging words!

"Sam, you are so good at setting the table, thank you!"
"Robin, the way you color that page makes me feel as though the picture will jump right out at me!"
"Fred, thank you so speaking so kindly to your little sister."

I am inviting you to do this with me to keep me accountable! Plus I can't wait to see how the Lord moves in my heart towards my attitude toward my children.  If you choose to join in with me, let me know!  There is also an event on Facebook, so if you are on facebook join us there.

I had a mom tell me this morning that she already knows that when she praises her kids, they are more obediant & respectful. She is looking forward to what God will do in their family in September.  I am too!





<a href="http://danabailey.blogspot.com"><img width="253" alt="Click here" src="http://i496.photobucket.com/albums/rr323/baileytribe/blog/30daysexcellencebutton.jpg" height="200"/></a>