Are You Listening?

I found this quote and it stuck with me.

As a mom, my day is full of background chatter among my kids. I usually zone it out so I can get my work done. But then there is that moment when one of them says, "Mom, did you hear what I said?"

And usually, I didn't hear them. I didn't realize they were talking to me. I was so focused on something else.

I want my kids to come to me when they need to talk. But if they are always fighting for my attention eventually they will stop coming. I work from home, and my day is full of a lot of multi-tasking.  Making sure I am available can really be a struggle at times. Creating a schedule has helped. Teaching them to respect my schedule is often a battle.

One day I observed some friends in a discussion. One friend was explaining a struggle she was having with one of her children. We were all listening to her explain a specific situation. I looked around the circle of friends as she spoke.
One was checking her phone, but nodding as if she were listening.
Another was deeply engrossed in the story, you could tell by her face.
And the last mom continued to interrupt with her own story that was made to sound much worse than the story being told.

Which mom was truly listening? The second one of course.

I have to admit, while my friend was pouring her heart out to us, I was thinking of ways to respond to her. But, when one of the moms continued to interrupt I realized that I wasn't listening to my friend anymore than she was.  I text my friend later and said, "I'm so sorry you are struggling. I am praying for you."

I never want to be like that last mom who interrupts with my own stories or ideas. I can't learn how to encourage or serve others if I don't listen to them.  I won't know how to pray for them if I don't listen to them.

But the truth is that I have been her on many occasions.

Lord, help me listen with my eyes, ears and heart so I can help comfort & encourage those you put in my path.

Are you listening?

Our Daughters Deserve Better

My friend Erin & fellow M.O.M. Initiative Team member is founder & President of a fabulous ministry called, The Whatever Girls; Intentional Moms~Intentional Daughters.  Her ministry is launching a campaign that as  mother of 4 girls I think is extremely important!  Below is part her blog post that explains what the campaign is all about. You have to go to her site to read the full post.  You’ll love it…she has a great site!

I highly encourage you to check out Erin’s blog. Erin and her team are passionate about bringing awareness to a growing problem, but not a new one…the perversion of our children's purity. As a mom of both daughters and sons I can’t tell you how important this is.

By Erin Bishop

As a Christian, I believe every word in the Bible. I didn’t always. I used to think there was no God. I lived for myself. I lived in the moment. There was an emptiness. I sensed I was missing something. I looked for fulfillment in many things, and sometimes I still do, because, well, I’m human. But things changed, and I accepted Christ and my life hasn’t been the same since.

When it comes to matters of purity and modesty, I support both. God created man and woman to love, marry, have sex and reproduce.  And have more sex. Many critics of purity and modesty, or the manner in which these topics are portrayed, have often referred to those of us who believe in purity and modesty as ones who would have women wear burkas or the like. Not me, and I think I can safely say most of my colleagues feel the same way. I believe that women should be careful with how they dress because God made men to be visual creatures and sometimes the way women dress cause men (and boys) to stumble. And, sometimes, women are on the receiving end of unwanted attention, which is unacceptable.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a mixed group of teen guys and girls. We started talking about modesty and one of the guys said “It’s not fair how some girls dress. They look so hot in those short skirts and tight jeans, and I want to look, but then if I look, I feel like a pervert.” I told them  it was normal for them to be curious and aroused by what they saw, because it is. That’s how God wired them.

But what happens when we take something and mix it with something it was never intended to be mixed with? If you put Diesel fuel in your non-Diesel engine you may travel a short distance, but in the end you’re going to have some unpleasant side effects and most likely some serious damage. The same is true when you take two unmarried people and put them in the type of physical relationship that God intended for a husband and wife. As someone who has lived both ways (mine and God’s), I speak from experience when I say that there absolutely are negative side effects when we don’t do things God’s way. And again, I say this as a Christian, and this is my truth and the truth of many. But this isn’t what some people believe, and that’s their prerogative.

So what exactly do a group of Christian moms mean when they say they’ve had enough of the world and the media scandalizing and sexualizing their children?

Read the rest of what Erin wrote on her blog, The Whatever Girls

Teaching Purity

I ran across this 4 part documentary that I just had to share with you.  The documentary is called "Virgin Daughters" and it takes you into the lives of several families who participate in the Purity Ball in Colorado.  These families are raising their daughters to be committed to remaining pure until their wedding day.

It is such a strange concept in today's society to ask a person to not even kiss until the wedding.  But, these families do that, and so do we.  We have taught our children since they were little that God gives you one first kiss and that is meant for your future husband or wife.  It is a gift that you are able to give to them, your purity.  Our daughters are 20, 18, 16 & 6.  None of my daughters have dated or kissed a boy yet.  They take their purity very seriously!  We teach this to our sons also.  We pray for our children that this will be a conviction in their heart because as you will see in this documentary if it isn't a conviction in your child's heart they won't take it seriously and results can be dangerous.  It isn't easy to stick with this as my older kids will tell you, but they don't regret it either.
 

I wanted to share this documentary with you because I think these families describe very well the importance of raising our children to be pure and that it isn't impossible.  While I may not agree with everything that is said, I do agree with the importance & Biblical mandate that is on parents to raise their children to seek purity.


Part 1



Part 2



Part 3


Part 4

Reformation Day - Reposted

This is a post written previously.

 

October 31st is Reformation Day for Christians. On this day in 1517 Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of the Castle Church. These were his protest against the indulgences of the Catholic church. He didn't believe that you could bargain or buy your way into heaven and this is what the Catholic church was teaching. They were taking advantage of the people and Martin Luther had had enough.

Martin Luther was a German monk in Erfurt, Germany. He was totally dedicated to his God and in his service. He would starve himself and spent hours on his cell floor, arms stretched out in a cross confessing his sins and seeking Gods forgiveness, but still he never found peace in his heart. He tried to be perfect and earn his salvation, but it wasn't until the rector of the Augustinian order explained salvation to him did he begin to understand that his salvation was a free gift from God through his faith in Jesus Christ. He told him that God was not angry with him for his sin, but that he loved him. He then sent him to the university in Erfurt to become a priest and to teach.

Luther enjoyed his life as a priest and was thrilled when he was sent to Rome on business. But Rome was not as holy as Luther expected it to be. The monks openly ridiculed the saints, jokes were made of the sacraments by the priests. But even in Rome Martin did not lose his faith in God. But now, he had some doubt about the church authority. He went home and began to study God's Word with a passion that he had never experienced before. Over time in his studies he began to realize that the scriptures did not teach that one earned their salvation by good works. He realized that salvation only came by believing in the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus. All that the church was teaching was not what the scriptures he was reading. He began to teach what he was learning at the University and this really caused sparks to fly.

To make a really long story short (which you can go here to read more), the church kicked Martin Luther out and he had to hide for several years. It was during this time that other priest began to question the Catholic church's teaching and began to uprise. Many lost their life, others escaped. While Martin was in hiding he began to translate the Latin Bible into German. He believed that anybody should be able to read and study the scriptures themselves.

Martin Luthers' boldness to stand and fight for truth marked the beginning of the Reformation Church also known as the Protestant church. Martin Luther paved the way for other reformers to come in and carry on the work of teaching other about the grace of God. Works are not what get you into Heaven, it is only God's grace.

Martin Luther was also known for his hymns. The most popular hymn that he is still remembered for is also called the Battle Hymn of the Reformation or better known as A Mighty Fortress is our God (you can also listen at this link) Here is Steve Green singing on You Tube. This hymn is my favorite of all the hymns!

So why is any of this important? Who really cares about a man who rebelled against the Catholic church over 400 years ago? I think that as parents it is really important for us to pass on to our kids our Christian heritage and knowing about people like Martin Luther is an important in our christian history. You better appreciate the sacrifices made by these men. Learning how God used people even 400 years ago to spread his love and teach his grace helps us to understand that he can use us also.

Teach your kids the message of Luther, God does not change! His Grace is forever and his love is abundant.

Here are a few websites to use with your kids to teach them about Martin Luther and the Reformation.

~ Love to Learn

~ Reformation Activities

~ Reformation Day resources (scroll all the way down the page)

~ More History on Luther

~ Read Luthers writings, hymns and learn about other reformers

Some of our favorite books on this are:

"Martin Luther, The German Monk who changed the World" (Heroes of Faith & Courage series) by; Ben Alex.

Also, "Martin Luther, A Man Who Changed the World"

Guarding my words

Set a guard over my mouth O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 114:3

Several years ago, my children memorized this verse.  It created a great picture in our minds of the importance of guarding our words towards each other.  They drew pictures to illustrate this verse by drawing a picture of themselves with a door for a mouth.  Some drew a big lock on the front of the door.

A guards' job is to only let in or out what is deemed appropriate, and that is what David is asking the Lord to do for him in this verse.  Help him to speak only words that are pleasing to God, not to the ungodly.

I stood there with my mouth wide open, not believing I was looking at what I was really looking at.  My son Josh had just cut a giant gash in the back of our leather sectional sofa!  He was about 7 yrs old at the time.  For a moment, I was speechless, but when that was over the words that came out were not good.

How could you do this?
What were you thinking?
What is wrong with you?

I just couldn't believe he had really cut this huge hole in the back of our sofa.  When I finally stopped ranting & yelling, Josh told why he had done that.  We had a new kitten.  The kitten had crawled up into the sofa & was in the back of it.  Josh thought it was stuck and would die if he didn't hurry up and get it out.  So out of his passion & love for this tiny little kitten, he did the only thing he could think of, he cut the sofa open to rescue the kitten.  Even though I didn't agree with his tactics, I understood why he did it.  But the damage had already been done.  Not the damage to the sofa, but the damage I caused on Josh's tender little spirit.  My words cut deep into his heart, like his knife cut deep into the leather on my sofa.  But unlike the sofa, his heart couldn't be sown back together.

I have learned that guarding my words is crucial if I am to build up and nurture the heart of my children.  Something as simple as taking a breath or counting to 10 before I speak can make a huge difference.

Today, my prayer for myself is Psalm 141:3 as I try to focus on the excellent things my children do.  I must guard my words so that only those that are truly good, edifying and right come out.  Even in my correction of my children, my words must be full of grace and mercy.  I am so thankful the Holy Spirit is available to help me do this or my efforts would all be in vain.

If you are participating in the 30 Days of Excellent in Every Way, leave me a comment with your blog address, or find my on Facebook!

30 Days of Excellent in Every Way

As a mom, I know that I focus too much on all the wrong things my kids do and miss out on all the right things they do. I get frustrated with chores not done or with their disobediance. When I only see their sin, I miss out on the blessing that my children really are.

Genesis 1:31 says, "Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way." (NLT)

I love how that is worded, "excellent in every way".... Our children are excellent in every way, in spite of how they act at times. They were made in Gods' image and he said his creation is excellent.

Do you think your kids are excellent? I know that there are many times that I don't see them as excellent.  They are stinky, disobediant, loud, stinky...did I mention stinky? :)  Anyway, I know my kids are great!  I know they are obediant & respectful, but many times I just miss it.

Years ago, the Lord impressed on me the importance of letting my kids know that I think they are excellent. I began making a special effort in showing my kids either by my words or my actions that I think they are wonderful!

So, I want to invite you to participate with me in 30 Days of Excellent in Every Way in September.

This is what you do, if you want to join me. For the month of September:

1. In your daily prayer time ask God to show you ways in which your kids are excellent. If you are like me, you may have a child that is more difficult than others. This is the child that you need really need to focus on. Pray for that child & ask God to show you how that child is excellent.

2. Keep a journal if you like of what the Lord shows you about your kids. If you have a blog, blog about it & send me your link!

3. At least once a day, post an status on facebook(if you are on facebook) about how one of your children was excellent. Don't use their name if you don't want to, especially if they are on face book.

4. Invite your friends. Ask your mom friends to join us.  Grab my button if you want to.

5. Use excellent words with your children. Tell them when you catch them doing something wonderful. Compliment them. Build them up with your positive, encouraging words!

"Sam, you are so good at setting the table, thank you!"
"Robin, the way you color that page makes me feel as though the picture will jump right out at me!"
"Fred, thank you so speaking so kindly to your little sister."

I am inviting you to do this with me to keep me accountable! Plus I can't wait to see how the Lord moves in my heart towards my attitude toward my children.  If you choose to join in with me, let me know!  There is also an event on Facebook, so if you are on facebook join us there.

I had a mom tell me this morning that she already knows that when she praises her kids, they are more obediant & respectful. She is looking forward to what God will do in their family in September.  I am too!





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Darkness of Twilight

I rarely post about current events.  But, I found an article that I really wanted to share with you. 

For a few years now I have watched a book series become an obsession among teen's & preteens.  Anytime I see people take on an obsessive behavior over something like a movie or book it really bothers me.  Why not take that obsession you are wasting on the media and direct towards the Bible?  Well, the Bible doesn't feed our fleshly desires the way the media does.  The Bible makes our flesh uneasy because it is instead feeding our Spirit.

When I heard about this series I naively thought that Christians would hear "vampires" & see the dangers in allowing their children to read the books.  Then I heard about the sensuality in the books & thought, "Surely parents will not let their young kids read these books."  I was wrong. In fact, the parents are not only letting their kids read them, but they are just as crazy about them as their kids are!  I see moms' Facebook status's about going to the movies to see the latest feature as if they were going to see Jesus Christ himself.
It bother's me that most who read these books seem to become obsessed with them.   They can just read them, they become emotionally involved with Bella & what will she do next. Even a reviewer for Focus on the Family found himself emotionally involved with the books as he read from a critical view point. Rarely do we come across a person who has this type of obsession for the Scriptures. 

Anyway, I have wanted to post about the Twilight series for a while, but I didn't want to read the books & had not taken the time to read any reviews yet. Then my friend Laura posted this article on Facebook this morning & once I read it I knew this would speak way more volume's concerning Twilight than I ever could.

Read Sue Bohlin of Probe Ministries article, "The Darkness of Twilight"

As Christian parents, our responsibility to our children is to teach them to view everything they encounter through Biblical eyes.  I truly believe that if you read these books from a biblical point of view the Holy Spirit will reveal to you the dangers of this series of books.  What you do with it from then on is up to you.


That is just my opinion.

Free Advent Study - Inductive Method

Anytime I see FREE posted on Twitter or Facebook, I am checking out the link.  Tonight, I followed a link and found a really neat download of an Advent study that focuses on the Inductive way of Bible study.  This caught my attention.

For years we have done simple studies that mainly involved reading a scripture passage & discussing it a little.  This new study I found seems to get the kids more involved in the actual study of the Scriptures by paying close attention to details in the passage.

You will find this FREE download at Our Grace Journey.  There are 2 different way's to download; in Microsoft Word or in PDF.  There are about 60 pages that you print out to use with your children.

I haven't used it yet, but have printed it out & have been looking over it hoping to start it tomorrow with the kids.  I have kids of all ages that will be sitting in on our study (17 yrs - 5 yrs).  I think you could use it younger elementary age to older very easily.

Go to Our Grace Journey of your free Christmas Advent study.

Take the Roosevelt Challenge

So, Now What?

The Thanksgiving holiday has passed – the first of two Christian holidays nationally established by Congress back in 1870 (the other was Christmas). Today, there is not much organized religious activity to fill the five weeks between these two national celebrations, but in 1944, President Franklin Roosevelt made an excellent recommendation worth following today:

I suggest a nationwide reading of the Holy Scriptures during the period from Thanksgiving Day to Christmas. . . . [G]o to . . . the Scriptures for a renewed and strengthening contac t with those eternal truths and majestic principles which have inspired such measure of true greatness as this nation has achieved.

While the five week period between Thanksgiving and Christmas is the focus of this particular email, it is still worth noting that many presidents before Roosevelt similarly urged Americans to delve into the Bible – including President Zachary Taylor, who declared:

The Bible is the best of books and I wish it were in the hands of everyone. It is indispensable to the safety and permanence of our institutions. . . . Especially should the Bible be placed in the hands of the young. It is the best school book in the world. . . . I would that all of our people were brought up under the influence of that Holy Book.

And Daniel Webster had earlier affirmed:

To the free and universal reading of the Bible . . . men [are] much indebted for right views of civil liberty. The Bible is . . . a book which teaches man his own individual responsibility, his own dignity, and his equality with his fellow man.

And well before Daniel Webster, the Founding Fathers had declared the same:

The Bible is a book worth more than all the other books that were ever printed. Patrick Henry

For nearly half a century, I have anxiously and critically studied the Bible and I still scarcely ever take it up that I do not find something new. Were you to ask me to recommend the most valuable book in the world, I should fix on the Bible as the most instructive both to the wise and the ignorant. Were you to ask me for one book affording the most rational and pleasing entertainment to the enquiring mind, I would still stay the Bible. And should you ask again about the best philosophy, or the most interesting history, I would still urge you to look into your Bible. I would make it, in short, the alpha and omega of knowledge. Elias Boudinot

The Bible is the best of all books, for it is the word of God and teaches us the way to be happy in this world and in the next. Continue therefore to read it and to regulate your life by its precepts. John Jay

Suppose a nation in some distant region should take the Bible for their only law book and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited . . . What a Utopia! – What a paradise would this region be! John Adams

The Bible is the chief moral cause of all that is good and the best corrector of all that is evil in human society. . . . All of the miseries and evils which men suffer from vice, crime, ambition, injustice, oppression, slavery and war, proceed from them despising or neglecting the precepts contained in the Bible. Noah Webster

So significant was the Bible to America's greatest statesmen that many of them committed themselves to reading through the Bible from cover to cover once every year. For example, John Quincy Adams stated:

The first and almost the only book deserving of universal attention is the Bible. I have myself for many years made it a practice to read the Bible once every year. I have always endeavored to read it with the same spirit and with the same temper of mind which I now recommend to you. That is, with the intention and desire that it may contribute to my advance in wisdom and virtue.

Considering this background, right now – that is, the next five weeks – is the perfect time to begin doing exactly as President Roosevelt recommended:

"I suggest a nationwide reading of the Holy Scriptures during the period from Thanksgiving Day to Christmas."

Urge those in your family, church, business, youth group, school, or whatever, to take the Roosevelt Challenge: regularly delve into the Bible from now unto Christmas.
By the way, if you have never read through the complete Bible and are wondering which version of the Bible to read, perhaps a recommendation made by John Quincy Adams in 1817 may be useful to you. When asked the version he preferred, he replied:

You ask me what Bible I take as the standard of my faith. I answer, any Bible that I can read and understand.

Indeed, select a version that you "can read and understand." And if you are further wondering just how to go about reading the complete Bible in a year, let us recommend the One-Year Bible a full Bible divided up into 365 daily readings. (The One Year Bible is available in all major Bible translations so that you can select the one you can best " read and understand.")
Give yourself an early Christmas gift – commit to read through the Bible in the next twelve months; and encourage those around you to do the same. By so doing, you will be giving yourself a gift that truly keeps on giving!
God Bless!

David Barton

Wall Builders

Reformation Day

October 31st is Reformation Day for Christians.  On this day in 1517 Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of the Castle Church.  These were his protest against the indulgences of the Catholic church.  He didn't believe that you could bargain or buy your way into heaven and this is what the Catholic church was teaching.  They were taking advantage of the people and Martin Luther had had enough.
Martin Luther was a German monk in Erfurt, Germany.  He was totally dedicated to his God and in his service.  He would starve himself and spent hours on his cell floor, arms stretched out in a cross confessing his sins and seeking Gods forgiveness, but still he never found peace in his heart.  He tried to be perfect and earn his salvation, but it wasn't until the rector of the Augustinian order explained salvation to him did he begin to understand that his salvation was a free gift from God through his faith in Jesus Christ.  He told him that God was not angry with him for his sin, but that he loved him.  He then sent him to the university in Erfurt to become a priest and to teach.
Luther enjoyed his life as a priest and was thrilled when he was sent to Rome on business.  But Rome was not as holy as Luther expected it to be.  The monks openly ridiculed the saints, jokes were made of the sacraments by the priests.  But even in Rome Martin did not lose his faith in God.  But now, he had some doubt about the church authority.  He went home and began to study God's Word with a passion that he had never experienced before.  Over time in his studies he began to realize that the scriptures did not teach that one earned their salvation by good works.  He realized that salvation only came by believing in the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus.  All that the church was teaching was not what the scriptures he was reading.  He began to teach what he was learning at the University and this really caused sparks to fly.
To make a really long story short (which you can go here to read more), the church kicked Martin Luther out and he had to hide for several years.  It was during this time that other priest began to question the Catholic church's teaching and began to uprise.  Many lost their life, others escaped.  While Martin was in hiding he began to translate the Latin Bible into German.  He believed that anybody should be able to read and study the scriptures themselves.
Martin Luthers' boldness to stand and fight for truth marked the beginning of the Reformation Church also known as the Protestant church.  Martin Luther paved the way for other reformers to come in and carry on the work of teaching other about the grace of God.  Works are not what get you into Heaven, it is only God's grace.
Martin Luther was also known for his hymns.  The most popular hymn that he is still remembered for is also called the Battle Hymn of the Reformation or better known as A Mighty Fortress is our God (you can also listen at this link) Here is Steve Green singing on You Tube.  This hymn is my favorite of all the hymns!
So why is any of this important? Who really cares about a man who rebelled against the Catholic church over 400 years ago?  I think that as parents it is really important for us to pass on to our kids our Christian heritage and knowing about people like Martin Luther is an important in our christian history.  You better appreciate the sacrifices made by these men.  Learning how God used people even 400 years ago to spread his love and teach his grace helps us to understand that he can use us also.
Teach your kids the message of Luther, God does not change!  His Grace is forever and his love is abundant.
Here are a few websites to use with your kids to teach them about Martin Luther and the Reformation.
~ Love to Learn
~ Reformation Activities
~ Reformation Day resources (scroll all the way down the page)
~ More History on Luther
~ Read Luthers writings, hymns and learn about other reformers
Some of our favorite books on this are:
 "Martin Luther, The German Monk who changed the World" (Heroes of Faith & Courage series) by; Ben Alex.
Also, "Martin Luther, A Man Who Changed the World"

Impress Them Upon Your Children

Deuteronomy 6 is one of my favorite chapters in scripture. God has told Moses to prepare the people for their upcoming freedom into the promise land by declaring his commands to the people.

God gave Moses 2 commands. The first one is one of the most popular commands in the Bible. In the New Testament, Jesus called it the greatest command.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

The Israelites had been in the wilderness for several decades now. Their parents had died in the wilderness because of their disobedience. God was giving this new generation a new chance. He wanted them to know that they had to love him with all they were. A love for their God had to consume them. They had to know that it would be their God who would take them into the new land, it would not be them. The previous generation didn't have this love. That is why they wouldn't go into the new promise land. They were afraid of the giants of the land.

God didn't only tell them to love him, but he also told them to teach it to their children.

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

(Deut 6:7-9)

Why was this so important to God? If it wasn't that important to him, it wouldn't have been recorded for us to read & apply to our own lives.

I think when we realize the mercy God showed the Israelites by not killing them for their disobedience, but rather letting them die off, we can understand the importance of generations of believers to our God. It is so important to God we raise up future generations of believers. This is why God first instructed the people to love him. It starts with the parents. Then we must give it to our children.

I looked up this word "impress" or "teach" (KJV). It means to sharpen or shape. How cool is that! When we teach our children to love the Lord their God with their whole heart, soul & strength we are sharpening them. I can't help but to think of a sword. When it is sharp, it is used to defend. A sharp knife is used to shape something to be useful. The word of God is sharper than a two edged sword.

What is shaping your child's mind & character? Did you know the average American family spends less than 30 minutes a day discussing spiritual matters? What are they doing the other time? Studies show that a child in school (public or private) spends on average 14,000 seat hours in school in grades K-12. If that same child is only getting 30 minutes a day of spiritual discussion at home that is only 2,372.5 hrs during the same time frame, K-12.

You have to wonder, who is impressing our children? We only get one chance to invest in the lives of our children...what are we investing?

What are your impressing on your children? Do they know who God is? Do they know him as their Creator? Ya know in public school your kids are not taught that God created them, so what do they know about who they are?

Start young telling your children who God is. Tell them from the beginning God knows everything & is everywhere. Start young showing them your God is so very important to you. They know what & who is important to you, no matter what you say.

Not too long ago I was taking one of my children with me on an errand. They were having a difficult time with a friend. My child made the comment, "I'm glad that God knows how to help me." I asked, "How do you know that?" "Well, you & Dad always say that when you are having trouble that God knows what you should do, you just have to wait for him to show you. You told us that God knows everything & when we are ready he will share with us what we need to help us." I wanted to cry! I wasn't sure if this child ever heard anything I say, but he had not only heard, but had watched his father & I live it out. That was proof for him that it worked. What a blessing!

We live in such a dangerous world & the enemy is working overtime to lure our children in by false hopes. Impress on your children to love the Lord their God with their whole heart, soul & strength. Let them see you living this command out & they will see the blessings of obedience in your life.

Letting Our Children Fly

For many parents, this time of year is a hard time. High School graduations are over and now these young adults are heading off to college. For a teenager it is an exciting time of their life. They see the potential for freedom and independence like they have never experienced before. Finally, they can be the "adult" they have been trying to be but couldn't. :o)

For parents, it is a heart wrenching time. (Well, at least for most parents.) We pour our lives into these kids for 18 years. We spend countless hours training our kids for life outside our house, but when the time comes to actually let them leave, we panic.

Our oldest child graduated from our home school this year. She is our first for everything. First child, first teenager, first driver, first graduate... first everything. With each new season of life she has come into, it has been hard as a mom to watch her grow and become independent of her parents. But, if I am doing my job correctly, when it is time for her to leave our home, she will be ready. I am blessed that she is not leaving us yet. She is staying home instead of going to college. She is working 5 days a week and babysitting when she can. She recently got a job at our church as an assistant to a coordinator in our nursery. We go to a big church, so she will be plenty busy.

But, I have several very close friends who also had their first born to graduate this year and their kids just left last week for college. My friends emailed telling how difficult it was & they could never have been prepared for the emotions of leaving their children at a college with strangers. They didn't want to leave them there, but knew that they had to. It was time to let their children go. No matter how much we moms would like to think that our children will need us forever, they won't.

With all the recent talk among my friends of how difficult it was to let their children go, I couldn't help but think about other parents in the Bible who had to let their children go. It was never easy, but they knew they had to do it.

Hannah is the first one I thought of. In 1 Samuel 1:11 we find the barren Hannah vowing to God that if he would only give her a son then she would "give him to the LORD all the days of his life." Later in the chapter we read that God answered her request for a son and she kept her promise to God. When he was weaned (maybe about 5-8 years old) she took him to the temple to live with Eli the Priest. Can you imagine how difficult it must of have been for Hannah to take the son that she waited so long for to live with someone else. She didn't even get 18 years with him. I can tell you that if weaning was the deciding factor on how long my son stayed with me, I would have tried to nurse him as long as I could. I can picture Hannah savoring every moment with her young Samuel knowing that those moments would soon only be memories.

Have you ever done that with your children? Have you ever found yourself just watching them, knowing that one day very soon they won't be there to watch anymore. Gut wrenching!


The other parent I thought about was the father of the 2 sons in the parable in Luke 15. He had 2 sons and one asked for his part of the inheritance. Some time later he decided it was time to leave so he left to make his mark on the world. I can see this father standing in a window watching his young son walk down the road, not knowing if he would ever see his son alive again. Most of us have a child like this who is anxious for the day when they can finally break loose of our home & enter the exciting, adventurous world on their own. I have one and when the day comes for him to leave, I pray that I let him go.

This father in the parable lets his son go. He knows that he may not be ready to leave, but he lets him go anyway.

As parents, if we have raised our children according to the ways of the Lord then when it is time to let them fly the nest, they will be ready. We may not think they are ready, but the Lord's timing is so perfect. His grace is so abundant that it is mind boggling to me. In spite of all my failures and goof-ups, my kids will still accomplish the purpose that God had given them.

I don't know the feeling yet of leaving a child at college or seeing them move out of our house. I do not look forward to the day. But I pray that when my day comes that I will let my children fly out of my nest as they fly to make their own, knowing that they do not go alone, the Lord is guiding them all the way.

3 John 4
"I have no greater joy then to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

Biblical Womanhood by Voddie Baucham

My husband & I have come to respect the teaching Voddie Baucham. He is a pastor in Spring Texas, an author & speaker. He & his wife have 5 children.


The links below are to a message that he gave on Biblical womanhood. I listened to it today & was so blessed by his straight forward way of teaching with the scripture has to say about what the role of the woman is today. He goes through Titus2:5 as his passage of scripture and breaks it apart going into detail as to how we as women should be training and teaching the younger women.

I love that it is broken up into small bites because I don't have time to sit at my desk for a whole hour and listen to his message. But because it is broken down into 8 parts, I could listen to a part, then take care of other things & come back and listen to another part.

I hope you enjoy & are blessed. Let me know what you thought about it!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Eat This Book!

A few years ago a dear friend shared with me a link to a blog. I was blown away by this authors words and how they flowed like a smooth flowing river. Her words were so nourishing and honest. Her blog has grown in popularity, but her writings are still as poignant as ever. One of her latest posts I thought was definitely worth passing on & maybe it is an introduction to this blog.

In her post she shares more about her family and a daily habit they have of reading the Bible together as a family 3 times a day after each meal. I thought of my own family and how busy we are, usually rushing through a meal so we can get onto the next appointment or activity. This family, however takes time each day to slow down and chew on the words of the Lord. She has helpful tips on how you also can "Eat this book". I pray you enjoy & are blessed by Ann's words.

Read her post at Holy Experience by Ann Voskamp

Becoming as a Fruitful Vine

One of my favorite verses in Psalm is found in 128:3.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;

your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.

With 10 children in our family, our table is very full. It is a blessing to me to see our table full of children during meal time. But even more of a blessing to me is knowing that the Lord has chosen to use each of my children to His purpose and glory.

The visual image of olive shoots is so wonderful to me. The olive tree was very important in Bible days as it provided them with many necessities for their day. The olive shoots were the young branch-to-be’s growing off of the main branches. Unless the olive tree received the proper nourishment, the olive shoots would not grow properly, if at all.

What a great picture this is to us as mother’s of the importance of our relationship with the Lord. If we are not studying the Word and applying it to our lives we become spiritually malnourished & our children will suffer because of it. But when we are following the Lord & seeking a close relationship with Him, our children will flourish & grow just as the olive shoots do on the olive tree.

John writes in 3 John verse 4,

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

The children that John spoke of were not his children, but rather those who had benefited from his ministry. Mothers, your children are your ministry, but you can’t minister to them if you are not spiritually healthy. God has a plan for your children & His greatest desire is to use you in their life.

Abide with your Lord. Learn to follow him & obey him. Fall in love with Him. You will never be disappointed.

The result will be;

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Proverbs 31:28

Blessing Your Family

Have you ever woke up to start a new day, but you really weren’t ready to start it? Have you ever thought, “I don’t want to be Mom today.”? I can get so tired of the constant in my life. The constant laundry, constant dishes, constant dirty diapers, constant sticky floors and I could go on, but I think you understand. I can become so consumed with what needs to be done during the day that I miss out on the blessings that God has for me. That’s when I start crying and saying things like, “I don’t want to do this today! I’m tired of dirty kids and dirty floors and dirty diapers!” I can only remember one time when I passed by the laundry room & there wasn’t a pile of laundry waiting to be washed. It was our last walk through of our house before we moved in! I have been changing diapers since 1991…and potty training someone since 1994. And I am still changing diapers & potty training with no end in site yet.

There is good news. I don’t want to discourage or depress you. I want to encourage you that it does get better. During one of my pity parties one day the Lord showed up. I was talking to myself & he joined in on the conversation. “You are looking at the wrong picture.” He said. “Look over here.” And it was as if He took my face in His hands and turned my face to look at a different picture. It was beautiful. There were my children looking well behaved and clean. I was there too and I looked good (I must say). My husband is there playing with the kids & life looks good. “Wow! Where did you find them?” I asked. “They have always been there, but you choose to focus on that other picture.” The other picture was full of chaos. The kids are yelling the house is a mess; I am exhausted and where is my husband?

I miss out on the blessings that God has for me when I focus on the wrong picture. When I focus on how tired I am, how long it has been since I went to the bathroom alone or that my husband is late from work again; I am feeling burned out on life. God has given me 9 of the most wonderful kids ever. My husband is still crazy in love with me as I am with him. So why am I complaining? Because of my sin nature, it is easier to live in my weakness and cry than to live in my strengths and be blessed. My family is my gift from God. It is a gift I don’t deserve, but it is given to me by God because of his love for me & His amazing plan for my life & the life of my kids. There is another reason why I do this. The enemy loves it when I focus on myself rather than the Lord. Nothing pleases him more than for me to take my eyes off of the Lord. It is then that I become weak let my guard down & the next thing I know is I’m hosting another pity party.

O.k. so how do I stay focused on the right picture? His Word is the best way for me to stay focused. Psalms 16:8 says, “I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” God put our eyes in the front of our head. We sometimes wish we could see behind us but we can’t. It would definitely make my days easier. We can only see what is in front of us. You can’t focus on God if He is not in front of you leading the way. Meditating and reading his word on a regular basis will keep you strong and better able to recognize temptation and resist it. It is a temptation of the enemy for us to focus on ourselves rather than the Lord. In Stormie Omartians’ book, The Power of a Praying Wife she said this; “God wants us to get through temptation because He wants to bless us. But He needs to see if we can be trusted to choose His ways over our fleshly desires. He’ll always give us a way out if we want it badly enough to seek Him for it.” One of my ways to battle temptation is to keep scripture up in front of me all day. That way His Word is on my mind and on my wall!

Another way to remain focused or get focused is to stay in conversation with the Lord. As a mom of 9 I rarely get the amount of time in prayer that I really want. I have had to learn how to stay in an ongoing conversation with God all day. I am so thankful that we can come to Him anywhere and anytime. I have also learned that I can worship God in all that I do. That keeps my attitude right. If I’m worshipping God while I am mopping the floor then I am not complaining about having to mop the floor. Prayer can be worship for us. It can happen in the midst of chaos. I don’t know how it happens, but I have on occasion been able to zone out my kids & just be quiet & let the Lord bless my spirit while right in the middle of chaos. It is great!

When I am looking for the bad in my children I will find it every time. The funny thing is that when I am looking for the good I find that too. In spite of what we would like to believe at times God made our children excellent. They are made in His likeness just like we are. They are not perfect, they do smell at times. And they are great at breaking things, spilling things, throwing things and blowing up things. But my kids are also very good at hugging, kissing, helping, playing, praying and just being an out right hoot to be around. We have a lot of fun in our house. My kids have a great sense of humor and a lot of laughing goes on everyday. But often we are only paying attention to the things that bother us instead of trying to catch each other in a good deed. With that kind of mindset I am looking at the wrong picture and missing out on a lot of blessings. When I pray and ask God to help me see my children as excellent as he sees them, I love them even deeper and desire to have them around me.

It is so important to keep God first in your life as you are teaching and training your children. Only God knows what that final picture of their life will look like & we have to trust Him and look to Him for wisdom and guidance. Psalms 127:1 reminds us that; “Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city the watchmen stand guard in vain.” I mess it up all the time & try to “build” my way or by myself. How great our God is to be there waiting for me to come back to Him seeking forgiveness. He will be there every time as long as we desire to be right with him. The Lord knows how hard our days can be as a mother. He understands our frustrations and exhaustion. Erma Bombeck once said that “Motherhood isn’t for sissy’s.”, and I believe it! We put up with a lot everyday. But God puts up with more so don’t be surprised if He crashes one of your pity parties like he did mine.

Keep your eyes focused on the right picture that God has set before you. Talk to him daily, listen to him daily and read His Word daily and then sit back & rest in knowing that your children are in His hands. You can make it, his Word says so. Psalms 18:30 says, “What a God! His road stretches straight and smooth. Every God-direction is road tested. Everyone who runs toward Him makes it!”(The Message) As a mom that is a very comforting thought to know that if I seek Him then I will make it. I will not only survive these days while my children are young but I will be blessed by them also.

© 2005 Copyright, Dana Bailey, All Rights Reserved

Raising Responsible Children in an Unresponsible World

© Copyright 2005, Dana Bailey All Rights Reserved


Do you think it is still possible to raise responsible children in today’s society? It may not be easy, but I do think it is possible. In fact, I think it is crucial to raise our children to become responsible adults who can function in today’s world. Unfortunately, we live in a modern society where cheating, lying and infidelity are accepted as a part of life. There is a great need for men and women of integrity today. As christian parents who home school their children, thus spending more time with them than parents who don’t home school, I believe we have the advantage. But it isn’t just an advantage we have. We also have been commanded as Christians to “make disciples”. Paul said to fathers concerning their children “to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Family discipleship, according to scripture, is the parents responsibility, not to be handed off to someone else.

In Webster’s 1828 Dictionary the definition of responsible is “the state of being accountable or answerable”. In Robin Sampson’s book, What Your Child Needs to Know When, her definition is “Governed by reason; being under the influence of reason; thinking, speaking, or acting rationally or according to the dictates of reason.” So what does that mean in a nut shell? Basically, we teach our children to think before they act and then when they act it is in a way that honors and pleases God.

So why make this important? Romans 14:12 says “So then every one of us shall give an account of himself to God.” That includes us parents as well. It is really hard to teach my kids to be responsible when I’m not being responsible myself, whether it is with my time, speech, actions or responses to others. So, it begins with me, the parent and my actions will always speak much louder to my children than anything I ever say to them. They must know that I am responsible for my decisions & will be held accountable for them to God.

I also think it is important because as a family you work as a team, not a group of individuals. A sports team has a lot of individuals but unless they work together in a responsible manner they won’t be a very good team. You cannot do everything for everyone 100% of the time. As mothers we would like to think that we can. Delegation is important in the health of your family. Each person should be able and willing to do his share of the work for the benefit of the family. You are a team. Team members must play their position. You are counting on them to do their job. If one of my kids slacks up on one of their jobs it affects many others around them. This is where forming good strong habits become important to raising responsible children. Charlotte Mason said this:

"The mother who takes the pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children. The mother devotes herself to the formation of one habit at a time" and to watching" over those already formed." -Charlotte Mason, Vol. 1 page 136

Forming good strong habits is not easy & takes patience & time, but the blessings are long lasting. Like Charlotte Mason said we secure for ourselves smooth and easy days. We are still working on this in our house & will probably never fully arrive but my days are easier than they used to be. We established 3 areas of responsibilities in our house and then have worked slowly on each one.

The first area of responsibility is School. The children are responsible for their materials, book lessons and attitudes. If I give my older ones an assignment with a due date then it is their job to make sure it is ready on time. My kids each have a Rubbermaid tub in which to keep their school work in. If they lost their pencil or a workbook it is their responsibility to find it, not mine. This gets the burden off of me to try & keep up with their stuff. I don’t have time to do that anyway. Attitude is also a biggie. In our house their attitude speaks louder than their words & actions. If their attitude is wrong even though their school work is completed it doesn’t count for much. Philippians 2:5 says, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

The next area of responsibility is Routine. Harry K. Wong says,
"The #1 problem in the classroom is not discipline. It is the lack of procedures and routines." The First Days of School.
It may seem that the children are not obeying, but in reality it may because we have not given them proper guidelines or procedures for accomplishing a certain task. When I established more routine in our day my kids knew what to expect & what was expected of them. Sarah knows that she is responsible for feeding the cats in the morning & getting the baby dressed. It should happen every morning. This is her routine. Daily routines are very important in teaching responsibility to our kids.

The last area of responsibility is chores. Do you have a chore chart? Do you use it? It is a lot like your Bible. It doesn’t do any good until you read it & live it. I’ve had a very organized system for chores for years now, but it was only until the last 2 years did I really get diligent about putting it into action. I love chores for 2 reasons. First, they teach great work ethic and second it is less work for me to do. Those who are helping to make the mess are also cleaning up the mess. A great rule of thumb is to not do anything that your kids are capable of doing themselves. You might want to read that aloud to your kids if you haven’t already. ( Everyone has a very important job in our family even if it is just scooping the cats’ litter boxes. We have learned to depend on each other in this way & if anyone goofs off and gets lazy the others really let them have it. We made Colossians 3:23-24 our family motto verse.

"And whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (NIV)( Emphasis mine)

If you are starting new habits of responsibility there are two “T’s” to remember. The first is Training your child in their new job. Make sure they know and understand what is expected of them. Spend 10 minutes a day actually doing the job with them so that they know exactly how you want it done. Don’t forget to give plenty of praise at their efforts and success. The second is Transferring the job to them once they know what is expected. Let them know that this is their responsibility now and you will not remind them of it. Be patient and full of grace and mercy during this process. Don’t set your expectations too high of frustration levels will be very high.

I have days when I think that some of my kids will never be responsible and then I catch them doing something really good. I think it even surprises them at times. Some of my children have seen the positive consequences that naturally come with being responsible. They enjoy the blessings that come to them. Being responsible seems to be contagious also. Younger siblings see the benefits and want the same. The positive habits they are forming are not only squeezing out the bad habits but their day is much more enjoyable. As a mom I often pray that my children will have the same desire as I do to bring honor and glory to God in all they do. I am blessed bountifully as my children grow and mature into responsible individuals. It is refreshing to my soul. Psalms 25:13 says, “Like the coolness of snow at harvest time is a trustworthy messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the spirit of his masters.”

Raising responsible children doesn’t happen quickly, it is a long season of giving life and love to your child while instilling in them the desire for godliness. Be patient and let God guide you on your journey. And don’t forget to praise him for the privilege of raising his children to become warriors for him. I am so excited for our future and the leaders that are rising out of the home schooling homes today. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Prov. 31:25 (NIV) We are a blessed people!

Below are a few resources that you may find helpful.
How to Raise a Responsible Child by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo
Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande
The Young Peacemaker: Teaching kids to respond to conflict God’s Way by
Corlette Sande
Let Us Highly Resolve: Preparing Families for the 21st Century by David and Shirley Quine

Habit Revisited by Mary Woodis (based on the “Habit” writings of Charlotte Mason)
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Romancing Your Child’s Heart by Monte Swan
Raising Kids Who Hunger For God by Phillips
For Instructions in Righteousness, Polished Cornerstones, and Plants Grown Up, by Doorposts
Doorposts very inexpensive posters: Stewardship Street, The Blessing Chart, If-Then Chart, The Brother Offended Checklist by the Forsters of Doorposts http://www.doorposts.net/


© Copyright 2005, Dana Bailey, All Rights Reserved