Grasping the Goodness of God

 In 1999 I was in a very serious car accident. I had all six children with me and I was 10 weeks pregnant when I lost control of my suburban and rolled it, landing upside down in a wheat field. It was the most traumatic thing that I had ever endured and it wrecked me emotionally and spiritually.

I was consumed with depression, anxiety and flashbacks of the accident. I hardly left my house and I didn't drive for months. 

One evening I was at church for a gathering and a staff person asked how I was doing. I'm sure I said the typical, "I'm doing really good!" because then they responded with "God is so good!" That statement bothered me. Friends kept saying it when they heard what happened.  I remember thinking, "No way is he good! If he was, he wouldn't have let this happen to me!" 

Do we really understand what the goodness of God is? I know that in 1999, I didn't understand it. My thinking of God and his goodness was all wrong. 

Elisabeth Elliot said, "We can't really tell how crooked our thinking is until we line it up with the straight edge of scripture."

So, let's see what scripture says about goodness.

Exodus 33:19

And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.

Psalm 23:6

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 68:10

..your flock found a dwelling in it; in your goodness, O God, you provided for the needy.

Zechariah 9:17

For how great is his goodness, and how great his beauty! Grain shall make the young men flourish, and new wine the young women.

Mark 10:18

And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.

Titus 3:4-5

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

This is not an exhaustive list of scriptures on goodness. I encourage you to go do your own word study on this. You will be so encouraged and blessed by it. 

When we feast upon the word of God we taste his goodness and are satisfied in Him!

According to these scriptures, Gods goodness is a gift wrapped in mercy (Exodus 33:19), that will follow us all our lives (Psalm 23:6), as we dwell in it (Psalm 68:10)and enjoy the greatness of it (Zechariah 9:17). We must recognize that only God is good but that it is in that goodness that we are saved by faith, according to his mercy.

God is the source of all goodness and is the measure of what good is! 

Romans 8:28 reminds that all God does in our life is for our good as his purpose for us is accomplished.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

This verse is often misquoted or taken out of context. But when you view this verse in light of what we just learned from the scriptures above it should be a little more clear. 

What is good according to this verse? This is where my thinking was all wrong because I associated this "good" with only blessings & favor, but there so much more to it. Mark 10:18 tells us that only God is good. The greek word used in this verse is the same as used in Romans 8:28. 

Could it be this "good" is meant to grow us in godliness? Could it be God is using "all things" to make us more like him? 

The answer is yes. 

I had to stop viewing the goodness of God only as what the world considers good and see it as it is...becoming more like him. Sometimes his goodness doesn't feel good, it's painful, miserable, unthinkable, unbelievable...but it is still his goodness and I'm learning to praise him for all of it.

That means our trials, adversity, excruciating circumstances are the goodness of God just as is the favor, prosperous, pleasant and happy times God brings to our lives.

This sheds a whole new light on my life as a godly woman and how I am to respond to circumstances in my life.  When I respond to trials as a  sharpening of my faith I find joy in the goodness of God.  His mercy is so great and I'm so thankful he doesn't leave me in my sin but by his goodness he has washed me clean so that I may worship him and give him all the glory!

I don't know if that staff member who told me how good God is realized how he upset me, but as I look back I'm thankful he said it. It showed me how wrong my thinking of God was. Over the next 18 months I fought and I struggled and then the goodness of God consumed me and I surrendered to him. I experienced his grace and mercy in ways I never had before. He broke me and then restored me and his joy is mine!

By His Spirit and through His goodness I can be a woman of mercy and wisdom, patient and forgiving who embraces her trials to grow in godliness.

The Battle of Motherhood

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 {The Message}

^3-6 The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

I'm in a battle.  It's a battle for my children. Not a day goes by I don't see evidence of Satan waging war against my family. The temptation is to fight the worlds' way. 
Worry.  
Fret. 
Become fearful. 
Interfere.

But 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 reminds me of the truth.  We don't fight our battles like the world does. 

When I see one of my kids on a path that I know cannot end in a good place, my temptation as a mom is to interfere, voice my opinions & just flat out get in the way of what God is trying to do in their life. It is hard to resist doing this. And to be completely honest, most often this is my first reponse.

But what is the Lord's way?

Psalm 37 has the perfect recipe for how to fight the battle of motherhood the Lord's way, & not the worlds way.
Psalm 37: 1

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong.

The best way to fight is by not worrying about the outcome.  Know that God is ultimately in control of this & he will win!

Psalm 37:3,4

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 Take it to the Lord.  This may sound "churchy", but it isn't.  It should be the habit of every Christian to take their worries & trials to the Lord before they do anything else.  Trust that the Lord cares more for your child than you can.  His love is deeper than yours, which I know is very hard to imagine.  But when I understand this & rest in it I am better able to trust the Lord with the life of my child.

Psalm 37:5,6

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Commit to do things the Lords way. Once we trust the Lord can fight for the life of our child better than we can, then we are able to commit our ways to him.  Every mother wants to stop their child from making stupid mistakes, but often they need to make those mistakes to feel the sting of the consequences.  Often I have prayed, "Lord, this is what I want to do, but I want my ways to be your ways so please help me to trust you completely." 

Psalm 37:7

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Be still & wait.Oh, I think this is the hardest part.  To be still.  To do what we feel like is nothing.  When we see our children hurting or in trouble our momma bear instincts come alive.  But the Lord often calls us to be still.  This can make no sense unless you understand who the battle is really against.  The enemy wants nothing more than for you to interfere with what is really going on.  The enemy wants your child to turn against you and the Lord. And he would like nothing more than you use you to make that happen.  But when we are still, and let the Lord fight for us and patiently wait for Him to bring our child back; we disable the enemy.

Psam 37:8

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;  do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Here is another reminder to not worry and don't get angry.  It is so easy to get angry at our children or at those who are causing them hurt. When we let our emotions lead our decisions that only leads to more wrong decisions. It only interferes more with what the Lord is trying to do.  We have to remember though the enemy fights ugly, our God never loses!

Psalm 37:34

Hope in the Lord  and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

Never lose hope!  Never stop praying for your children.  Never stop trusting the Lord will bring your child back to him.  It's so hard. I know that.  I have days when I am tempted to believe the lies of the enemy, that my child is gone for good.  But the Holy Spirit always comes back to remind me that he loves my child more than I ever could and is at work though I might not can see it.  
The enemy will be destroyed.  We are promised that many times in Scripture.  In fact, that moment Jesus returned on the 3rd day after dying on the cross marked the eternal defeat of Satan.

I encourage you to look to the Lord for the salvation of your child. Let him become your stronghold rather than the world.  The victory belongs to the Lord and to you!  You can do this! Run to the Lord the cling to his promises.

For more encouragement visit my Facebook page: JoyMoms

The Fruit of the Spirit is JOY!

I remember singing a song in church when I was little called “The Joy of the Lord is my Strength”.  I didn’t totally understand what it meant, but I sang it with all my might.

Then I grew up and I realized I still didn’t understand this joy that scripture talked about.  I thought it was based on my circumstances.  I got it confused with happiness.  The scriptures didn’t make sense to me.  How can someone consider trials joy as Paul said we should?  How can joy be our strength?  Then I did a study on joy and I got it and just in time too.

I have been told that most people are not interested in the Greek or Hebrew translations of scripture.  But I think it is fascinating because I learn so much more than I would have if I just took the word at face value.  Digging into the Greek & Hebrew has brought me into a deeper understanding & love for the Bible.

So, joy is one of those words that came alive for me when I dug into the Greek meaning. In Greek, the most common word used for joy in the Bible is chara.   This word means “joy, rejoicing, gladness-enjoyment, bliss” In John MacArthur’s ESV Study Bible (which I got for my birthday and love it!), joy is defined as 

“the sense of well being experienced by one who knows all is well between himself and the Lord.”

I don’t have joy because my life is easy (it’s not, but let’s just say it is).  I don’t have joy because I’m married to the most perfect husband ever or have almost perfect kids.  My joy is found in the truth that I belong to Jesus!  My joy is a result of knowing that my name is written in the Lambs Book of Life.

Ok, so that isn’t all that I found that was cool.  There is another word, very similar to chara.  It is charis, which is the Greek word for grace!   

As Beth Moore said, 

“Joy is literally written into grace!”   

It all makes sense now how Paul could have such joy in the midst of persecution.  It explains how Corrie ten Boom could experience joy while in the Nazi Concentration camps.  They knew that their salvation was unmerited.  They didn’t deserve it, but they had it.  Knowing they were covered by God’s gift of grace strengthened them to endure whatever came their way.

Grace is not about us…it is all about Him!  When we realize that, we can grasp, accept and cling to grace.  We experience joy when we know that our lives are not about us. When we decrease and he increases, joy is the result.  Whatever we have to endure can be done in a way that brings glory and honor to our Lord.  We can also relate to others in a whole different way. 

There is a reason why love is listed before joy in Galatians 5:22.  Without love you cannot experience or exhibit joy. It is the foundation for all the fruit of the Spirit.  Joy isn’t about keeping a smile on your face all the time.  You can have joy in the midst of tears.  But you can’t sit in your sadness or disappointment, because you know the joy of the Lord and the happiness that it does bring.

When the job is taken away, you can say “The joy of the Lord is my strength”

When the husband decides he doesn’t want to be married to you anymore, you can say “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”

When the medical tests do not come back with good news, you can say “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”

When that child is trying your patience again, you can say “The joy of the Lord is my strength”

We may lose our joy….

1.       When our outpour exceeds our intake.  Are you serving more than you are seeking?  I have been guilty of this.  This is very easy for mothers.  I find myself pouring myself into my children but not refueling with a quiet time.  Before long I am tired, exhausted & empty of joy.

2.       When our talk exceeds our walk. Once again, this happens when we are not in a daily time with the Lord.  We begin talking way too much and not walking out what we talk about.  It is exhausting and can only last a short while before you just can’t stand your self anymore.

3.       When we are exhausted.  God created our bodies and he knows that we cannot function when we don’t take care of ourselves.  It is hard for a mom, especially one with a new baby, to get the rest needed. I know in the past, when I was super tired I just didn’t want to be a mom anymore.  I’ve said it too! I was exhausted, I had no joy in being a mother.

4.       When we feel alone.  Motherhood can be a very lonely time of life believe it or not.  No one understands you.  No one has a child like you.  No one has a husband like yours.  Before you know it you are feeling quite alone.  But in all reality you are not alone.  Beside the Lord himself, you do have others out there who will understand and who will care.  It just takes reaching out.

The fruit of the Spirit is joy because when you are walking in step with the Spirit you will experience and exhibit his joy and it will be wonderful!  Praise God for the grace that covers you and enables you to live in His joy!

Read my other posts on the Fruit of the Spirit here.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Love-Part 2

Part 1 post is here.

In my first post, I shared with you about my first true love.  It was a fleeting romance and I’m thankful that God has brought it back to my memory.  It is a fun memory, but also reminds me of how unlike my “love” for Kyle was compared to God’s love for me.  

So, who are we called to love? I picked the top 3.

God

God must be our true love.  We are commanded to love him with all our heart, soul and strength. (Matthew 22:37-38)  When you are deeply in love with someone they are on your mind always, night and day.  What or who fills your thoughts during the day?

Husband

There are two big “S” words when it comes to loving our husbands’. 

Serve him in love. 

I have a funny story that I like to tell about my parents.  When I was growing up we always ate dinner together as a family.  If my dad’s tea glass got low, he would shake his glass and my mom would get up and get him some more tea.  Finally, years later(and I mean many years later), my dad asked my mom why she poured him more tea so much.  She said that she thought when he shook his glass that meant that he wanted more tea.  My dad laughed and told her that he was shaking his ice so that when he took the last sips of his tea the ice wouldn’t fall on his face.  It didn’t mean he wanted more tea.  WE all had a good laugh and that night my dad started pouring my mom more tea when her glass got low.

I love that story, because my mom gladly served my dad.  She never grumbled about getting him more tea.  She did it because she loved her husband and wanted to do things for him.

I’m sure we can all agree that our husbands have bad habits, and I’m sure that our husbands could name a few of our bad habits also.  Love gets over the bad habits!  Agape love for our husband’s can’t dwell on his bad habits or annoying tendencies.  It loves in spite of…  Love asks. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Submit to your husband’s leadership in the home.  The woman who is walking with the Spirit will want to submit to your husband.  I’m talking about a marriage where the husband and wife love each other as God has called us to love.  I’m not talking about an abusive marriage.

I find great satisfaction when I submit to my husband’s leadership.  We work together, we make decisions together, but I let him be the final say.  I didn’t always feel this way.  The change came when my love for the Lord deepened.  My submission to my husband is a natural outflow from my submission to God.  Christ set the example of submission for us in that it is an act of worship when it is a chosen, deliberate, voluntary response to our husband.  If you find it hard to submit to your husband, evaluate your relationship with the Lord.  Once again, I am not speaking to the woman who is in an abusive relationship, married to a man who does not love his wife.

We must pray for our husbands’ daily even if your husband is abusive or not a believer.  I love Stormie Omartians’ book, The Power of a Praying Wife.” Years ago I blogged my way through that book.  Here are my posts on that series.  Great things can happen in a marriage when we are praying for our husbands.  A very powerful prayer for your husband can be, “Lord, how can I bless to my husband today?”  Remember the annoying habits I mentioned earlier?  Take it from me, don’t pray that God will change those habits, instead pray that your husband will seek the Lord and love him deeply.  God has great things to do in your husband, your prayers for him are vital!

To the wife whose husband is not a believer, may I suggest that you take your husband to God, not take God to your husband?  Don’t preach to your husband, just live your life for the Lord.  In the Lord’s timing he will draw your husband to himself.  He can use you in your husband’s life when you live out the love of God for God, not for your husband.

Children

We love our children.  I don’t think that is a profound statement!

I think one of the greatest ways a mother can love her children is by loving their father first. Let your children see you love their dad through serving & submitting to him.  Be careful to not grumble about your husband in front of your children.  Praise your husband in front of your children.  Your children build an opinion of their father from how you speak to him and about him.

Show your children your love by letting them see your eyeballs when you speak to them.  I’m so guilty of doing something else while my children are trying to talk to me.  It doesn’t take much time to stop what I am doing, look my child in the eyes and listen to them.

Let your children see you in your quiet place.  Let them “catch” you during your quiet time. Some  of my sweetest childhood memories are finding my mom sitting either in the big chair in the Living Room or on her swing in the backyard early in the morning with her Bible.  I knew it was important to her, I knew that because I saw her do it.  If your children interrupt your quiet time, don’t get angry or impatient with them.  Instead pull them in and include them.  Read scripture together.  Or let them ask their question and move on.  It is important to let your children know that it is important to you that you have time to pray before you start your day.  Your children will learn to respect that time & allow you to keep that time, especially if they see that it makes for a more patient mommy.

We are called to love the unlovely.    God loves us in spite our sins and his love is perfected in us so that we can love those that are really difficult to love.  I didn’t say you have to like them or be best friends.  But you can love them.

If you feel that you cannot love a person, they have hurt you too deeply then remember 1 John 4:8,

“Anyone who does not love does not know God.”   

Anyone who is filled with jealousy and hate cannot inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21) It is evidence that to the root of their soul they do not know God.  Take those unlovable ones in your life to God and let him show you how to love them the way he loves them. 

So, who is your first love?  Who would you give your life for?  Who consumes your thoughts during the day?

I found this prayer, prayed by an unknown saint.

“Oh God, I hereby give myself to You.  I give my family, I give my business.  I give all I possess.  Take all of it, Lord-and take me!   I give myself in such measure that if it is necessary that I lose everything for your sake, let me lost it.  I will not ask what the price is.  I will ask only that I may be all that I ought to be as a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ, my Lord. Amen.”

Powerful stuff!

Agape love starts and ends with God and he includes you in the middle of it!

The fruit of the Spirit is LOVE!