Monday, May 3, 2010

Monday Night Date Night!

If you follow me on Facebook then you probably know that I love Monday's!  About 3 years ago, Scott & I blocked out all Monday nights just for us.  It is our night to go to dinner, see a movie or just take a long walk. The kids have to stay home, there are no activities allowed on the calendar except for the occasional babysitting job.  We protect it as best we can and it has worked.

It is so important for couples, no matter  how long you have been married to still date each other.  Think about before you dated.  What was it that you enjoyed so much about going out with your future husband?  For me, I loved that it was our time to get to know each other better.  We would ask each other questions about our past or about our dreams of the future.  We would laugh about embarrassing moments or discuss our passions & dreams.

Why does that have to stop when we say, "I do".  It doesn't.  You will spend the rest of your marriage getting to know your husband, at least you should.  You will never know everything that there is to know about him. You may think you do, but you don't. Dating just makes getting to know him better a lot more fun!

When you "date" your husband it is an opportunity to invest more of yourself in him. Find out more about him.  Ask him questions about something that you have never asked him about before, maybe his childhood or about his parents.

It doesn't have to be a fancy date or expensive, it can be very simple & cheap.  Scott has basically been unemployed for over a year now & I think we have only missed a couple of date nights because of money issues.

Some of our dates nights include things like;
  • Dinner. We don't like to spend more than $20 on dinner so if it normally is more than $20, we don't go unless we have a special offer.  It isn't so much about where we eat at as it is that we are eating alone with out kids.  Even if we are eating at Taco Bell, it doesn't matter, we are eating alone.
  • Movie.  This is a rare one, but occasionally  we will see a movie if there is something showing that we would want to see.  There happens to be one of the cheapest Theaters in our town really close by so that makes it more affordable.
  • Book Store.  We love books!  We have a really great Half-Price Book store really close to us, so we go there almost every week.  We like to sell there also.  But, we have a little game we like to play when we go.  See who can find the best bargain.  They have a great clearance section & many times we will find some really great books for a $1!  Last week we hit the jack pot!  We found C.H. Spurgeons' complete commentary on Psalms for a grand total of $6.  Scott & I like studying theology and often can find some really great bargains.  We like the books that no one else wants, so it works.
  • Long Walks.  We live in McKinney, Texas & it has a really nice & historic downtown area.  Scott & I like to walk downtown on evenings when the weather is nice.  Most of the stores are already closed so that keeps me from wanting to spend money.  There is always plenty to look at & a good old fashioned conversation about our past always happens.
  • Coffee.  We always end the evening with a cup of coffee or soda from McDonalds.  We used to go to Starbucks, but we found out that we like the coffee at McDonalds better.  No one is there by the time we get there.  We sit in the same booth every week.  This is where we really get some good discussions going.  We talk about the kids, about our church, whatever we want to talk about.  There are no rules.  Some couples try not to talk about their kids, but this is when Scott & I can discuss problem area's we see or victories we see in our kids.  We don't have that opportunity at home.
What about the kids?  Well, for us we have built in babysitters now so we don't have to get a sitter.  But if you do need someone to watch your kids then do it!  If you can't afford a sitter, then trade off with a friend.  You keep their kids one week & they keep your kids the next week. IF you don't have any friends or family close by then you get to be really creative with your date nights.

Put the kids to bed early.
  • Get some take out dinner, rent a movie, spread a blanket on the floor, open your favorite bottle of wine, throw some pillows down on the floor & have a date night!
  • Pop some popcorn, pull out a board game that you never get to play anymore.
  • Try to recreate your first date as best as you can without leaving your house.  Scott & I saw the movie, "Dead Poets Society" on our first date so we rented that one time & watched it.  What was fun is we ended up talking more about that date & what we thought of each other than watching the actual movie.
Why is this so important?  One day your kids will leave your house(at least they are supposed to).  One day your life will not be about getting kids to their next sports practice or helping with homework.  Your life will be about you & your husband.  I tell my kids that their dad was my husband before he was their dad!  That means to them that he comes before they do.  When your kids leave, will you be satisfied for it to be just you & your husband?  If you don't know each other very well it will be really hard!

Dating your husband is one little stone in the process of building your homes to God's glory!  It is worth the effort & trouble that it takes to get out of the house with out your kids.  It doesn't have to be every week, it can be once a month, just put it on the calendar.  It will strengthen your marriage, thus making you better parents.

Do you have a date night?  I would love to hear about it!  Post your comment below & tell me how you & your husband make time for each other.

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