Thursday, August 6, 2009

You Will Be Strengthened

Originally posted 10/2008 at Living Stones Blog

My youngest has been sick with a cough & cold for several days now. He is now waking up in the night because of drainage that is putting him into a coughing fit. He sometimes begins to cough to the point that he throws up. He will wake up around 2:30 & not go back to sleep until 5:00 or 5:30 a.m. By the time I get him back to bed I lay down hoping for a few hours of sleep before he wakes up again.

Needless to say, I am tired. I struggle with not having a short temper with my other kids. It isn't their fault that I am so tired. My early morning quiet time has disappeared because Sam keeps waking up before I can get up.

Today, I was really feeling the affects of not getting enough sleep. I found myself in the laundry room ready to completely burst out in tears this morning. My children were not getting their school work done without a fight. I had so much to do today & I didn't have the energy to do any of it. As I loaded the washer with more clothes I cried out to God.

I can't do this. Sam is keeping me up at night, I can't get up early enough to spend time in prayer or devotions, I don't want anyone around me, I just want to sleep. I'm not only physically exhausted, but spiritually dehydrated. I want so badly to have some time for myself to read your word & pray, but I just can't get it. Your word says that you will strengthen those whose hope is in you. You say you will uphold me with your righteous right hand. I need to feel your strength right now. I need you to hold me above my physical exhaustion. You are my God & I love you.

I finished loading my laundry and began preparing lunch. An argument broke out between 2 of my boys & I very calmly sent them to their separate corners. My sick little one came in & wanted to be held, so we rocked for a bit. My little girl came in & insisted that I let her play with bubbles. With a little compromise I let her blow her bubbles on our front porch with the front door open. She & I sat outside while she blew her bubbles. I walked back in & realized my exhausted feeling was gone. I no longer felt as though I would explode with emotion at the next person who confronted me. I felt an amazing peace & calm that I had not had 30 minutes earlier.

Lord God, my Holy Father, thank you for your mercy & gift of strength for today.

I don't know if my little Sam will sleep all night tonight. I hope he does. But if he doesn't, I know that my strength will come from my God & he will uphold me with his righteous right hand, because my hope & love is in Him. (UPDATE(10.21.08); Sam slept all night for the first time in weeks last night!!!)

Isaiah 40:10

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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