Excellent Correction

Psalm 12:18 says, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Discipline is a God ordained opportunity for parents to train up their children in a way pleasing to God.  But because we are sinners, our discipline of our children doesn't always please the Lord.  I have days when I wait until I am so frustrated with my children that I fire off like a rocket at them and call that discipline.  It isn't.  It's just me spewing off at my kids.

One of my boys has quite the temper.  We call him our hot little Irishman because he can fire off so fast. Last night 2 of our boys were having a really hard time getting along.  I sent them to bed with instructions to not talk to each other, look at each other or get close to one another, but to wait for me to come to their room.  About 5 minutes later I opened the door to their room and found the little irishman standing over the younger brother holding a plastic baseball bat to his nose.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  WHAT DID I TELL YOU TO DO?

The Little Irishman immediately began his excuses for not being in his bed.  I didn't really care what the reason was, I just wanted him to go to bed.  I had heard their bickering all day and was done with it.  I gave them clear instructions to not move out of their beds unless there was a fire!
About 20 minutes later I went upstairs to check on them & found the Little Irishman sitting up in his bed, while the younger brother was sound asleep in his bed.  I sat down & asked what he was thinking about.  We talked for a bit.  I listened to him tell me how he thinks he is the only one that ever gets in trouble. (funny how all of my kids think they are the only ones who get in trouble)  We talked for a little bit about the importance of obediance and walking away from trouble.  He likes to be the last one standing, not the first one to walk away.  After we talked for a bit, I prayed for him.  When I was done he thanked me for praying for him and said that he really wanted to do better and learn to walk away from trouble.
I accomplished more with him in those short minutes than I had all week harping on him to stop fighting with his brothers.  My quiet heart, ministered to his hurting heart and repaired a stressed relationship.  As Christian parents the correction of our children is meant to bring about their excellent qualities, not diminish them.  Our correction can pierce their heart like a sword, or it can bring healing.  It is up to us if we will let the Holy Spirit create in us a gentle heart so we can correct more effectivley or if we continue to correct in our own strength.  I don't know about you, but  the Holy Spirit has a much better way!

Guarding my words

Set a guard over my mouth O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 114:3

Several years ago, my children memorized this verse.  It created a great picture in our minds of the importance of guarding our words towards each other.  They drew pictures to illustrate this verse by drawing a picture of themselves with a door for a mouth.  Some drew a big lock on the front of the door.

A guards' job is to only let in or out what is deemed appropriate, and that is what David is asking the Lord to do for him in this verse.  Help him to speak only words that are pleasing to God, not to the ungodly.

I stood there with my mouth wide open, not believing I was looking at what I was really looking at.  My son Josh had just cut a giant gash in the back of our leather sectional sofa!  He was about 7 yrs old at the time.  For a moment, I was speechless, but when that was over the words that came out were not good.

How could you do this?
What were you thinking?
What is wrong with you?

I just couldn't believe he had really cut this huge hole in the back of our sofa.  When I finally stopped ranting & yelling, Josh told why he had done that.  We had a new kitten.  The kitten had crawled up into the sofa & was in the back of it.  Josh thought it was stuck and would die if he didn't hurry up and get it out.  So out of his passion & love for this tiny little kitten, he did the only thing he could think of, he cut the sofa open to rescue the kitten.  Even though I didn't agree with his tactics, I understood why he did it.  But the damage had already been done.  Not the damage to the sofa, but the damage I caused on Josh's tender little spirit.  My words cut deep into his heart, like his knife cut deep into the leather on my sofa.  But unlike the sofa, his heart couldn't be sown back together.

I have learned that guarding my words is crucial if I am to build up and nurture the heart of my children.  Something as simple as taking a breath or counting to 10 before I speak can make a huge difference.

Today, my prayer for myself is Psalm 141:3 as I try to focus on the excellent things my children do.  I must guard my words so that only those that are truly good, edifying and right come out.  Even in my correction of my children, my words must be full of grace and mercy.  I am so thankful the Holy Spirit is available to help me do this or my efforts would all be in vain.

If you are participating in the 30 Days of Excellent in Every Way, leave me a comment with your blog address, or find my on Facebook!

30 Days of Excellent in Every Way

As a mom, I know that I focus too much on all the wrong things my kids do and miss out on all the right things they do. I get frustrated with chores not done or with their disobediance. When I only see their sin, I miss out on the blessing that my children really are.

Genesis 1:31 says, "Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way." (NLT)

I love how that is worded, "excellent in every way".... Our children are excellent in every way, in spite of how they act at times. They were made in Gods' image and he said his creation is excellent.

Do you think your kids are excellent? I know that there are many times that I don't see them as excellent.  They are stinky, disobediant, loud, stinky...did I mention stinky? :)  Anyway, I know my kids are great!  I know they are obediant & respectful, but many times I just miss it.

Years ago, the Lord impressed on me the importance of letting my kids know that I think they are excellent. I began making a special effort in showing my kids either by my words or my actions that I think they are wonderful!

So, I want to invite you to participate with me in 30 Days of Excellent in Every Way in September.

This is what you do, if you want to join me. For the month of September:

1. In your daily prayer time ask God to show you ways in which your kids are excellent. If you are like me, you may have a child that is more difficult than others. This is the child that you need really need to focus on. Pray for that child & ask God to show you how that child is excellent.

2. Keep a journal if you like of what the Lord shows you about your kids. If you have a blog, blog about it & send me your link!

3. At least once a day, post an status on facebook(if you are on facebook) about how one of your children was excellent. Don't use their name if you don't want to, especially if they are on face book.

4. Invite your friends. Ask your mom friends to join us.  Grab my button if you want to.

5. Use excellent words with your children. Tell them when you catch them doing something wonderful. Compliment them. Build them up with your positive, encouraging words!

"Sam, you are so good at setting the table, thank you!"
"Robin, the way you color that page makes me feel as though the picture will jump right out at me!"
"Fred, thank you so speaking so kindly to your little sister."

I am inviting you to do this with me to keep me accountable! Plus I can't wait to see how the Lord moves in my heart towards my attitude toward my children.  If you choose to join in with me, let me know!  There is also an event on Facebook, so if you are on facebook join us there.

I had a mom tell me this morning that she already knows that when she praises her kids, they are more obediant & respectful. She is looking forward to what God will do in their family in September.  I am too!





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The Spiritual Index

I just had to share this with you. I've struggled with my prayer life recently and this was just what I needed to hear.  This is from Oswald Chambers' devotional, My Utmost for His Highest.

"Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" Matthew 7:9

The illustration of prayer that Our Lord uses here is that of a good child asking for a good thing. We talk about prayer as if God heard us irrespective of the fact of our relationship to Him (cf. Matthew 5:45). Never say it is not God's will to give you what you ask, don't sit down and faint, but find out the reason, turn up the index. Are you rightly related to your wife, to your husband, to your children, to your fellow-students - are you a "good child" there? "0 Lord, I have been irritable and cross, but I do want spiritual blessing." You cannot have it, you will have to do without until you come into the attitude of a good child.

We mistake defiance for devotion; arguing with God for abandonment. We will not look at the index. Have I been asking God to give me money for something I want when there is something I have not paid for? Have I been asking God for liberty while I am withholding it from someone who belongs to me? I have not forgiven someone his trespasses; I have not been kind to him; I have not been living as God's child among my relatives and friends. (v.12.)

I am a child of God only by regeneration, and as a child of God I am good only as I walk in the light. Prayer with most of us is turned into pious platitude, it is a matter of emotion, mystical communion with God. Spiritually we are all good at producing fogs. If we turn up the index, we will see very clearly what is wrong - that friendship, that debt, that temper of mind. It is no use praying unless we are living as children of God. Then, Jesus says - "Everyone that asketh receiveth."